Tag Archives: school

Invasion of the Body Snatchers


I wrote a post over a year ago on losing my identity as a mom as my kids grow to the ages where they won’t need me anymore.  Unfortunately, and little did I know at the time, that at a certain age, they stop caring, too.  About everything.  I can only hope that what everyone else is telling me – not to worry because it’s temporary – is true.
Nothing in this world drives me more crazy, and breaks my heart more, than seeing your intelligent, talented, beautiful child stop caring about the things that were once so important to him.
 
In this case, it’s school and his grades.  He just doesn’t care.  I’ve tried everything to motivate and encourage him…
“Your grades need to be good to play sports.”
“You need to play sports to afford your first choice in colleges.”
“You need to go to college to get a good job or make it to the NFL.”
“You need to get a good job to afford to live as you dream of living.”
The responses I get make me cringe…
“Well, you make me play too many sports anyway.  I never get a break.”
“I’ll just skip college and get a job like fill-in-the-blank did.”
“I will live with it if I don’t make it into the NFL.”
“I’ll just get a regular job and work my way up to make a lot of money like fill-in-the-blank does.”
I swear, people – Someone snatched my sweet, loving child and replaced him with a 14-year-old teenager who doesn’t care about crap.  Eugene’s had the adult, dude-to-dude conversation with him.  His teachers have had the caring adult conversation with him.  I’ve had the loving mom conversation with him.  Heck – I’ve even had the coming to Jesus talk with him.
 
Nothing.  Works.
 
His teachers continue to tell me that he’s a great kid with a brilliant mind, but he just doesn’t turn in his homework.  They assure me that they’re going through this with most of their male students, and that it’s just a phase.  They promise me my kid is normal and is just being lazy.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a normal kid.  I want an exceptional kid.  An above-average kid.  A kid who gives a damn.  I know Eugene wants and expects the same.  We have gone above and beyond to ensure we’ve given this child everything he needs to be an exceptional, amazing young man.  Are we abnormal parents to hold our kids to high expectations?  I’m curious to know if we’re the crazy ones, maybe. 
 
I’ve seen a slight change in the “normal teenager’s” attitude the last couple weeks, but unfortunately, with report cards coming out next week, it’s a little too late for that at this juncture.  I guess we can only try to start fresh next semester and hope whoever stole my sweet kid will drop him back off at our front door. 
 
In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts.  On boys, on kids, on teenagers, on school, on your expectations, and on your experiences in parenting.  Please, please someone tell me we’re not alone in this invasion of the body snatchers.


Someone Please Pinch Me


I’ve been out of high school for nearly 15 years already and out of college for 11.  So why is it, then, that my worst (and recurring) nightmare is centered around my school days?

Here’s what happens every single time:

It’s the morning of a major test, and I get to school with enough time to spare to take a trip to my locker to get the materials that I’ll need in order to take said test.  My hands are overflowing with books – wait, why don’t I just have a bookbag? – and I manage to balance them all in one arm while fumbling with the lock on my locker door.  Only, crap… that’s when I realize that I can’t, for the life of me, remember my combination.  27-6- uh… 32?  No, that’s not it.  14?  Nope, that’s not working either.  I start to get nervous as I look at my watch and see that I’ve got to hurry if I’m going to make it to class in time to take my test.  Then, relief hits me.  I wrote my combination down on the inside of one of my notebooks!  I dump my pile of books on floor, and I can finally start to feel the blood rush to my lower arm and hand again.  I hadn’t realized just how heavy those books were.  I sort through the pile, and it dawns on me that the notebook I need is one of the ones still in my locker – right there with the things I need for my test.  Ugh!  Why is this happening to me?  I don’t have time for this today.  I start to feel hot, and I start to get nervous about the time.  I decide I better just go to class and just forget the stuff I need for my test.  It’s better to be on time and just take the test rather than be late or skip it all together, right?

So I stack my books back up in my arm – here we go again – and as I top off the pile with one last notebook, the one underneath that tumbles to the floor.  I have the sudden urge to just throw them all on the floor and stomp on them, but I can’t if I’m going to make it to class in time for this test.  It will, after all, make or break my entire grade in this class.  I bend down ever so carefully and stack the books back up, balancing the pile on my chin for support.

I turn the corner from my locker and start down the hallway to my class.  Room 217.  Only now I can’t find Room 217.  What in the world is going on?  I go to this class every day.  Why can’t I find it now?  Silly me – It must be the next hallway, after you turn left at the end of this one.  As I finally near the end of the hallway and turn left, I’m confident that I’ll still make it in time.  I only had a few more doors to go.  But wait – Room 217 isn’t down this hallway, either.  What the heck??  I decide that maybe I’ve got my schedule all mixed up, and I’m supposed to be on the third floor instead of the second.  Maybe it’s Room 317.  I start up the stairs, still barely holding on to my teetering pile of books.  I make it to the third floor and down the hallway that looks identical to the one I was just on.  I frantically race past classroom after classroom, and there’s still no sign of my room.  I begin to panic, thinking of how missing this test is going to ruin my entire year and all hopes of getting into my favorite college.  By now, I’m in tears and wake up in a cold sweat, heart pounding out of my chest.

The funny thing about it is that, for some reason, I never think to stop and ask someone where my classroom is.  Instead, I panic and wake up a nervous wreck.  It’s so odd to me that all these years later, I still stress out about school and my grades.  I’ve always been a perfectionist, and I’ve always said that it’s my best and worst trait all in one.  I guess this is one of those times that it really is my worst.

What about you?  Do you have any odd recurring dreams (or nightmares, as is the case for me)?


20 Reasons Why I Would Make a Terrible Teacher


Jolene (from Valley Girl Gone Country) and I were recently discussing how amazing teachers and child care workers are and how we could never deal with kids all day.

The conversation got me to thinking about why I would make a terrible, awful, rotten teacher.  Here’s what I discovered:

1. I hate all kids, except my own.  Some days, even that’s questionable.

2. I hate parents, too.

Source: ThinkNice

Source: ThinkNice

3. They should have never done away with spankings in school.

Source: A Southerner in San Francisco

Source: A Southerner in San Francisco

4. I only like drama on TV.  Save it for Springer, honey…

Source: Nick Mom

Source: Nick Mom

5. We would have “movie day” every day.

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

6. This is what my classroom toys would consist of:

Source: tumblr

Source: tumblr

7. I can’t stand kids who have no manners.

Source: Facebook

Source: Facebook

8. I don’t do poop…

Source: Sh*t My Kids Ruined

Source: Sh*t My Kids Ruined

9. Or puke…

Source: UGO

Source: UGO

10. Or snot.

Source: UGO

Source: UGO

11. I can’t tolerate whining.

Source: UGO

Source: UGO

12. My OCD tendencies would likely pose a problem.

Source: Flickr

Source: Flickr

13. I despise bad grammar.

Source: Belch

Source: Belch

14. I lack patience.

Source: US History Worksheets

Source: US History Worksheets

15. I’m a yeller and have a bit of a temper.

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

16. I’m honest… to a fault.

Source: Feedio

Source: Feedio

17. No one likes a brown-noser.

Source: eBaum's World

Source: eBaum’s World

18. I have a hard time keeping a straight face when something’s hilarious.

Source: UFC Fight Club

Source: UFC Fight Club

19. There is such a thing as a stupid question… to which I will always give a sarcastic answer.

Source: Funny-Pix.co

Source: Funny-Pix.co

20. I would totally do something like this:

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

See??  These are why I could never, in a million years, be a teacher.  It would be utterly disastrous.  To all those out there who do teach, you are amazing.  And crazy.


We’re Gonna’ Party Like It’s Nineteen Ninety… TWO???!


1992:

Average New House Cost: $122,500

Average Yearly Income: $30,030

Average Monthly Rent: $519

Cost of Gas: $1.05

Cost of a Pound of Bacon: $1.92

U.S. President: George H.W. Bush

Movies: Aladdin – Batman Returns – A Few Good Men – Sister Act – The Bodyguard – Wayne’s World – Basic Instinct – Honey, I Blew Up the Kids

Musicians: Pearl Jam – Color Me Badd – Nirvana – Boyz II Men – Madonna – U2 – Kiss – Mariah Carey – Bon Jovi – Eric Clapton – Def Leppard – Metallica – and of course, Michael Jackson

TV Shows: Law & Order – America’s Funniest Home Videos – Home Improvement – Rugrats – Jerry Springer – Ren & Stimpy – Matlock – Oprah – Married… with Children

January 1992: George Bush pukes in the Japanese Prime Minister’s lap.

February 1992: Mike Tyson is found guilty of rape.

March 1992: Bill Clinton is declared the likely winner of the Democratic primaries.

April 1992: Microsoft releases Windows 3.1.

May 1992: Space Shuttle Endeavour makes it maiden flight.

June 1992: I graduate from 5th grade!

July 1992: Drug lord Pablo Escobar escapes from prison.

August 1992: Hurricane Andrew hits Florida and kills 23 people.

September 1992: Over 165 people are arrested for money laundering in relation to cocaine trafficking in the U.S., Colombia, and Italy.

October 1992: Cartoon Network is first broadcasted on TV.

November 1992: Bill Clinton is elected the 42nd President of the United States.

December 1992: President Bush flies spends New Year’s with U.S. troops in Somalia.

————————————————————————————-

In case you missed it, the most important thing in 1992 happened in June – I graduated from elementary school!  This is a big deal, people!  It’s your last year as a “kid” – Next year, you’re off to the dreaded middle school to begin those years of non-stop obnoxiousness, bad attitudes, and raging hormones.

All of us in Pakansink Elementary’s Class of ’92 were nervous and excited at the same time about getting ready to say goodbye to our baby school and enter the terrifying world of lockers and changing classes.  That was obviously back before the days of cell phones, so we all said our goodbyes to each other, knowing that most of us wouldn’t see our friends until that September, when we would be standing, lost, in the halls of middle school hell, hoping to at least catch a glimpse of each other during lunch.

Of course we all had yearbooks in which we scribbled our promises to keep in touch and call each other from the rotary phones that hung by tangled cords in our kitchens.  But everyone in our class also got a t-shirt.  The teachers passed around marker pens so we could all sign our names on our BFFs’ shirts, in an attempt to never forget the good old days of chasing each other around the playground.

And that’s just what we did… We created memories on that last day of school that some of us may have forgotten in time.  But not me… I still cling to those memories of not having a care in the world.  I reminisce often about the days where we were still embarrassed to talk to that cute boy or shopped for hours looking for the perfect Barbie birthday present.

Fortunately, I’ve reconnected with my closest Class of ’92 BFFs on Facebook.  It’s amazing to me how more than 20 years can pass between conversations with girlfriends, yet we can pick up right where we left off, updating each other on the highs and lows of real life without missing a beat.  Friendship is truly an incredible thing.


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