Jolene (from Valley Girl Gone Country) and I were recently discussing how amazing teachers and child care workers are and how we could never deal with kids all day.
The conversation got me to thinking about why I would make a terrible, awful, rotten teacher. Here’s what I discovered:
1. I hate all kids, except my own. Some days, even that’s questionable.
2. I hate parents, too.
3. They should have never done away with spankings in school.
4. I only like drama on TV. Save it for Springer, honey…
5. We would have “movie day” every day.
6. This is what my classroom toys would consist of:
7. I can’t stand kids who have no manners.
8. I don’t do poop…
9. Or puke…
10. Or snot.
11. I can’t tolerate whining.
12. My OCD tendencies would likely pose a problem.
13. I despise bad grammar.
14. I lack patience.
15. I’m a yeller and have a bit of a temper.
16. I’m honest… to a fault.
17. No one likes a brown-noser.
18. I have a hard time keeping a straight face when something’s hilarious.
19. There is such a thing as a stupid question… to which I will always give a sarcastic answer.
20. I would totally do something like this:
See?? These are why I could never, in a million years, be a teacher. It would be utterly disastrous. To all those out there who do teach, you are amazing. And crazy.