Tag Archives: jokes

Daily Prompt: A Friend in Need


Today’s Daily Prompt:

Finish this sentence: “My closest friend is…”

Photographers, artists, poets: show us FRIENDSHIP.

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

My closest friend is my little sister.

I was 19 months old when she ruined my title of “only child,” so I spent much of my childhood trying to pay her back.
I cut her Barbie dolls’ hair and ripped their heads off.
I pushed her off her bed, and I scared her by telling her there were ghosts in her room.
I made her take the first bites of mud pie.

I always made her be the dad when we played house.
I ripped her favorite baby doll’s arm off.
We fought, we played, and we fought some more.
I told her that her boyfriends sucked, and she told me that mine did.
I covered for her the first time she got drunk so that Mom wouldn’t kill her.
Then I had babies, and she suddenly turned into the best aunt in the whole world.

During my darkest times, she was the only one who was there for me.
If I needed money, she was there.
If I needed a babysitter, she was there.
If I needed a dance partner, she was there.  Well, in the cage, but there nonetheless.
Then the day came that she was no longer mine, but her new husband’s.
And I bawled my eyes out.
Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

She wasn’t a little girl anymore, but a beautiful young woman.
My comfort comes in knowing that there’s never anyone who can take her place.
We’ll always have our inside jokes and silly stories from growing up.
She’ll always have a very special place deep inside my heart.
And my only solace comes from knowing that she’ll always be my closest friend…
And My Little Sister.
Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

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“I want you to think about it long and hard.” ~Michael (from The Office)


As a parent to a tween and a teen, I find myself praying quite often that they won’t pick up on the latest moronic cool terms and phrases that many other kids their age have coined as “sick” or “beast.”  Unfortunately for me, however, God finds some of my other prayer requests more urgent and answers those first.  (He’s got quite a sense of humor, in case you didn’t know.)  Anyway, sure enough, the boys have recently discovered the joy in the infamous phrase, “That’s what she said.”  Yep – that’s right.  They’re only about eight years behind the times on this one, but they love it (and think it’s hilarious) nonetheless.  Here’s a little sneak peak into my torturous, testosterone-filled house:

My sister:  Alicia, do you want the brownies with nuts or without?
Me:  With.  I don’t like the ones without nuts.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Gerald:  Mom, do you want the rest of this cornbread?
Me:  No, it’s too hard now.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Ronald:  Mom, look at this bruise I got at practice today.
Me:  Wow, it’s huge.  It must really hurt.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Gerald:  Mom, are you going to eat this candy bar?
Me:  No.  I don’t really like white chocolate.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Me:  Ronald, you had a great hit today!
Ronald:  I – –
Gerald:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Me:  That made me choke.  It went down the wrong hole.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Me:  Ronald, you need to hurry up and finish that.  It’s not that hard.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Gerald:  Mom, I don’t like these potatoes.
Me:  Well then just hurry up and swallow them.  And don’t eat anymore.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Ronald:  Mom, come look at this spider!
Me:  Where?  I can’t see it.  It’s too small.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

— Um… FAIL!!  They’ll get it eventually… —

What happened to the days when my boys were sweet and innocent?  Okay, wait…  Those may have never existed.  That may have only been in my head.  Hmm – It’s a good thing they’re cute.


Tiffany Kleiman ~ Author

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