Best Friends: A Promise, Not a Label

I graduated from high school 14 years ago.  Yikes!  When I actually see that number, I freak out a little.  Anyway, other than for a few hours during my ten-year high school reunion, I haven’t really seen any of my high school girlfriends. 

Thanks to Facebook and other social media outlets, we all have a generally decent idea of how many kids everyone has, how often they poop, and what they eat for dinner, so there’s really not a major need to schedule complex get-togethers to catch up anymore.  And, let’s face it – Other than for a few select friends, we really don’t give a damn what those people are doing now.  If I hated you in high school, I still probably hate you today.

On rare occasions, however, we may share a special connection with one or two of those old school friends.  That’s been the case for me, and I was reminded of that connection yesterday. 

I got a Facebook message from one of my best girlfriends from high school.  The tone of her message was sad, lonely even, and I noticed that it certainly didn’t correspond with her happy, upbeat public statuses and photos.  I could tell that she was hurting and that she needed to know that she wasn’t alone in what she’s been going through. 

Sadly, she is going through a rough patch in her life, much like the one I went through several years ago.  Having never experienced something like this before, it can be extremely overwhelming to have to deal with on your own.  I was thankful that, despite the pain I went through, I was able to relate to her situation and give her some words of advice and encouragement.

What amazed me more than being able to relate to what she’s going through, however, was the fact that even though we haven’t seen each other in years and don’t communicate much other than through Facebook, we were able to relate and communicate like we were best friends again.  I felt a connection to her that no amount of years of growing up could destroy.  For the several minutes we relayed messages back and forth, we were high school best friends again. 

Women amaze me.  My girlfriends amaze me.  Any amount of time can pass, even with little to no interaction between us, and yet we can pick up right where we left off.  We can provide strength for each other in such an amazing way, that superfluous words aren’t even needed.  We don’t need to apologize for having been crappy friends and losing contact.  We don’t need the formalities or pleasantries.  We can just TALK and SHARE and VENT!  The understanding between women is a bond that will never be broken, regardless of the number of years that have passed or the beat-downs that life has put on us.  Friendships (and I mean the genuine ones) between women are unbreakable. 

I am so thankful that I was able to connect with this particular girlfriend after so many years, and it was like we had just talked the day before.  I have a handful of high school girlfriends whom I feel like I could do this with, and I’m forever grateful for them.  They have been blessings to me, and I hope that one day I can return the favor to each of them.  I love you, ladies.

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We’re Gonna’ Party Like It’s Nineteen Ninety… TWO???!

1992:

Average New House Cost: $122,500

Average Yearly Income: $30,030

Average Monthly Rent: $519

Cost of Gas: $1.05

Cost of a Pound of Bacon: $1.92

U.S. President: George H.W. Bush

Movies: Aladdin – Batman Returns – A Few Good Men – Sister Act – The Bodyguard – Wayne’s World – Basic Instinct – Honey, I Blew Up the Kids

Musicians: Pearl Jam – Color Me Badd – Nirvana – Boyz II Men – Madonna – U2 – Kiss – Mariah Carey – Bon Jovi – Eric Clapton – Def Leppard – Metallica – and of course, Michael Jackson

TV Shows: Law & Order – America’s Funniest Home Videos – Home Improvement – Rugrats – Jerry Springer – Ren & Stimpy – Matlock – Oprah – Married… with Children

January 1992: George Bush pukes in the Japanese Prime Minister’s lap.

February 1992: Mike Tyson is found guilty of rape.

March 1992: Bill Clinton is declared the likely winner of the Democratic primaries.

April 1992: Microsoft releases Windows 3.1.

May 1992: Space Shuttle Endeavour makes it maiden flight.

June 1992: I graduate from 5^th grade!

July 1992: Drug lord Pablo Escobar escapes from prison.

August 1992: Hurricane Andrew hits Florida and kills 23 people.

September 1992: Over 165 people are arrested for money laundering in relation to cocaine trafficking in the U.S., Colombia, and Italy.

October 1992: Cartoon Network is first broadcasted on TV.

November 1992: Bill Clinton is elected the 42^nd President of the United States.

December 1992: President Bush flies spends New Year’s with U.S. troops in Somalia.

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In case you missed it, the most important thing in 1992 happened in June – I graduated from elementary school!  This is a big deal, people!  It’s your last year as a “kid” – Next year, you’re off to the dreaded middle school to begin those years of non-stop obnoxiousness, bad attitudes, and raging hormones.

All of us in Pakansink Elementary’s Class of ’92 were nervous and excited at the same time about getting ready to say goodbye to our baby school and enter the terrifying world of lockers and changing classes.  That was obviously back before the days of cell phones, so we all said our goodbyes to each other, knowing that most of us wouldn’t see our friends until that September, when we would be standing, lost, in the halls of middle school hell, hoping to at least catch a glimpse of each other during lunch.

Of course we all had yearbooks in which we scribbled our promises to keep in touch and call each other from the rotary phones that hung by tangled cords in our kitchens.  But everyone in our class also got a t-shirt.  The teachers passed around marker pens so we could all sign our names on our BFFs’ shirts, in an attempt to never forget the good old days of chasing each other around the playground.

And that’s just what we did… We created memories on that last day of school that some of us may have forgotten in time.  But not me… I still cling to those memories of not having a care in the world.  I reminisce often about the days where we were still embarrassed to talk to that cute boy or shopped for hours looking for the perfect Barbie birthday present.

Fortunately, I’ve reconnected with my closest Class of ’92 BFFs on Facebook.  It’s amazing to me how more than 20 years can pass between conversations with girlfriends, yet we can pick up right where we left off, updating each other on the highs and lows of real life without missing a beat.  Friendship is truly an incredible thing.

Daily Prompt: A Friend in Need

Today’s Daily Prompt:

Finish this sentence: “My closest friend is…”

Photographers, artists, poets: show us FRIENDSHIP.

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

My closest friend is my little sister.

I was 19 months old when she ruined my title of “only child,” so I spent much of my childhood trying to pay her back.

I cut her Barbie dolls’ hair and ripped their heads off.

I pushed her off her bed, and I scared her by telling her there were ghosts in her room.

I made her take the first bites of mud pie.

I always made her be the dad when we played house.

I ripped her favorite baby doll’s arm off.

We fought, we played, and we fought some more.

I told her that her boyfriends sucked, and she told me that mine did.

I covered for her the first time she got drunk so that Mom wouldn’t kill her.

Then I had babies, and she suddenly turned into the best aunt in the whole world.

During my darkest times, she was the only one who was there for me.

If I needed money, she was there.

If I needed a babysitter, she was there.

If I needed a dance partner, she was there.  Well, in the cage, but there nonetheless.

Then the day came that she was no longer mine, but her new husband’s.

And I bawled my eyes out.

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

She wasn’t a little girl anymore, but a beautiful young woman.

My comfort comes in knowing that there’s never anyone who can take her place.

We’ll always have our inside jokes and silly stories from growing up.

She’ll always have a very special place deep inside my heart.

And my only solace comes from knowing that she’ll always be my closest friend…

And My Little Sister.

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school…” ~ Muhammad Ali

As promised, today’s post will be much more lighthearted than yesterday’s.  But true, all the same…

Last night, I found myself in a position to teach Gerald (the teenager) a very valuable life lesson.

Here’s how it went down:

Gerald: “Mom, Megan and Chase broke up again, and they are so mad at each other.”

Me: “Really – what happened this time?”

Gerald: “They’re just talking about each other to everyone else. They both talk trash about the other one to all our friends.”

Me: “What do you say since you’re friends with both of them? Or do you just listen and not really say anything?”

Gerald: “I say, ‘I know, right.’” [Hee hee]

Me: “Gerald! You can’t do that! That’s throwing fuel on the fire!”

Gerald: “I know, but it is kind of funny!”

Me: “It’s mean. You should tell them both to just get back together or get over each other and move on. They’re both gonna’ get their feelings hurt if they keep spreading rumors about each other.”

Gerald: “I know, but I’m kind of on her side.”

Me: “No, no, no…!!! I’m about to teach you a very valuable life lesson that you need to remember until the day you get married.”

Gerald: [listening intently] “Okay, what is it?”

***Drum roll, please…***

Me: “Bros before hoes, man. Bros before hoes.”

Source: http://stumblesthroughparenthood.com/

Gerald: [amazing look of wonderment on his face] “Hmm, okay. Thanks, Mom.”

And that, folks, makes me….

Source: Imgur

That’s right – – I’m officially the WORLD’S OKAYEST MOM!!!

Source: Meme Center

“I hate you. You’re crazy. One minute you’re cool, the next minute you’re throwing pointy objects at my head…” ~L.M.N.

Ah, young love…  Do you remember those days?  I remember the days when boys were gross, and I used to chase them around the playground.

Photo by Alicia Benton

My mom used to tell me that meant I had a crush on one of those boys.  What?!  No way!  She was nuts!  Of course, as I grew up, I realized that she was exactly right.  I mean, how else are you supposed to show a boy that you like him, besides chasing him around and pushing him down when you finally catch him???  Well, I’ll tell you what – It’s quite an eye-opening experience when you finally get to see your kid reach those days.  There’s a girl in Ronald’s class, who also happens to live in our neighborhood, who thinks “Ronald is gross.”  [Read:  “Ronald is cute.”]  How do I know this, you ask?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  For one, every day when Ronald gets home from school, he updates me on the latest number of times that Kayla pulled his hair in class and on the bus.  (Remember, he’s got the mean ‘fro going on…)  Then, he tells me all about how while he was riding his bike, she chased him around the neighborhood throwing pine cones at him.  Today, my sister and I watched first hand as she showered him with pink flower petals as he rode by.  Then she proceeded to pick up handfuls of pine straw and attempt to cover him in it.  She never misses a chance to tell me about all the “gross” things Ronald does.  He keeps telling me how annoying she is, and when I tell him that it’s just her way of showing him that she likes him, he responds with, “Eww, Mom.  That’s gross.  Plus, she’s mean to me.  There’s no way she likes me.”  Ha!  Little does he know that she goes home after school and doodles her first name right alongside his last name.  She’s already picked out her wedding dress for that glorious day ten years from now that she gets to marry MY son!  [Over my dead body, by the way…]  It’s so funny to me now to see that the way we females show boys that we like them is by doing the meanest things we can think of to them.  What… you want me to be NICE to the boy I like?  Yeah right!  Hmm… I guess some things will never change, huh?  😉

“No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.” ~W. C. Fields

THANK GOD FOR BOYS…  I cannot say that enough!  I love how males can hate each other one minute and then be best friends the next.  Gerald and Ronald can be beating the crap out of each other and literally stop in the middle of their World War 3 to go outside and throw the baseball or football back and forth to each other.  We females, on the other hand, looooove drama.  And holding grudges.  It seems like women’s love for drama doesn’t improve with age, either.    For example, I have an acquaintance [I’m using that term very loosely] who is almost as old as I am, and I really believe that she loves conflict.  She’s one of those women who smiles in your face and tells you what a great friend you are and then tells her other “friends” behind your back all of the terrible things about you (that may not even be remotely true).  I’ve racked my brain trying to figure out why the heck women do this, and the only conclusion I can draw is that their self-esteem is so low that the only way they can feel better about themselves is to bring others down.  Why do we, as women, automatically try to make ourselves look better at someone else’s expense?  Why can’t we do like my boys and just talk about how awesome we are?!  Men pride themselves on having a giant penis… Why can’t we be that simplistic and pride ourselves on having big hair or a big mouth or making the world’s best cookies???  Why do women have to make everything a rivalry?  Again, any rivalry between Gerald and Ronald usually consists of one good sucker punch while the other isn’t looking, and then they’re back to being best buds again.  I watch them as they’re getting older, and their rivalries are seeming to get smaller.  That’s freakin’ awesome!  I wish I could say the same for some of the women with whom I’m “friends.”  Why can’t we just BOTH be awesome?!  Okay… rant over.