Tag Archives: cards

“If you’re playing a poker game, and you look around the table and can’t tell who the sucker is, it’s you.” ~Paul Newman

I’m super busy at work this afternoon, so I’ll just share a quick, funny kid story with you today.

The kids have recently learned from us how to play poker and black jack, so we’ve been spending an hour or so every afternoon playing with them.  We play for Goldfish, so you know it’s no joke, and the stakes are high.

Source: shmoop

Source: shmoop

Anyway, last night, Eugene had to run out to the car for something, so he said, “I’ll be right back, but you can go ahead and play one hand while I’m gone if you want.”

Gerald responded with, “How do you play one-hand?  I’ve never heard of that game.”

All I could do was shake my head and laugh…

Finally, as I was laughing and Eugene was staring at him like, “Did you really just say that?,” the light clicked on for him, and he turned a nice pretty shade of pink!  He was so embarrassed!  But we all got a good laugh out of it.

Needless to say, he and I played one-hand while Eugene ran out to the car, and I have to say… I caught on pretty quickly!

“God could not be everywhere, and therefore He made mothers.” ~Rudyard Kipling

Yeah, sure, we love homemade cards and macaroni necklaces, but I have enough dang noodles to make mac and cheese for dinner for a year.  And my stupid conscience won’t let me throw out the 67 construction paper cards I’ve collected over the years.  You know… the ones with the scribble scrabble you can’t even decipher?  So dads, grandparents, aunts – help a kid out.  And a mom.

What Moms Really Want for Mother’s Day:

1. A massage.

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

2. A nap.

Source: Rotten eCards

Source: Rotten eCards

3. A clean bathroom.

Source: Latin Rapper

Source: Latin Rapper

4. Bacon.

Source: Tumblr

Source: Tumblr

5. A truce.

Source: paulwreeves.blogspot.com

Source: paulwreeves.blogspot.com

6. Shoes!!!

Source: SodaHead

Source: SodaHead

7. To see an amazing movie that’s not made by Disney or all about shootin-‘em-up.

Source: We Know Memes

Source: We Know Memes

8. A drink.  (Or seven.)

Source: Anne Taintor

Source: Anne Taintor

9. An orgasm.  (Hey, they cure headaches, right??)  *This gift can only come from limited recipients, obviously.*

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

10. A day off.  From life.

Source: Karma Decay

Source: Karma Decay

Okay, so there you have it.  Now go get the wife, mom, sister, etc. something she really wants for Mother’s Day!

And Happy Mother’s Day to all of you amazing moms – You have the hardest job in the world!

My Boys :)

Tiffany Kleiman ~ Author

“I don’t care if a reader hates one of my stories, just as long as s/he finishes the book.” ~ Roald Dahl, WD

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