Tag Archives: boys

Invasion of the Body Snatchers


I wrote a post over a year ago on losing my identity as a mom as my kids grow to the ages where they won’t need me anymore.  Unfortunately, and little did I know at the time, that at a certain age, they stop caring, too.  About everything.  I can only hope that what everyone else is telling me – not to worry because it’s temporary – is true.
Nothing in this world drives me more crazy, and breaks my heart more, than seeing your intelligent, talented, beautiful child stop caring about the things that were once so important to him.
 
In this case, it’s school and his grades.  He just doesn’t care.  I’ve tried everything to motivate and encourage him…
“Your grades need to be good to play sports.”
“You need to play sports to afford your first choice in colleges.”
“You need to go to college to get a good job or make it to the NFL.”
“You need to get a good job to afford to live as you dream of living.”
The responses I get make me cringe…
“Well, you make me play too many sports anyway.  I never get a break.”
“I’ll just skip college and get a job like fill-in-the-blank did.”
“I will live with it if I don’t make it into the NFL.”
“I’ll just get a regular job and work my way up to make a lot of money like fill-in-the-blank does.”
I swear, people – Someone snatched my sweet, loving child and replaced him with a 14-year-old teenager who doesn’t care about crap.  Eugene’s had the adult, dude-to-dude conversation with him.  His teachers have had the caring adult conversation with him.  I’ve had the loving mom conversation with him.  Heck – I’ve even had the coming to Jesus talk with him.
 
Nothing.  Works.
 
His teachers continue to tell me that he’s a great kid with a brilliant mind, but he just doesn’t turn in his homework.  They assure me that they’re going through this with most of their male students, and that it’s just a phase.  They promise me my kid is normal and is just being lazy.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a normal kid.  I want an exceptional kid.  An above-average kid.  A kid who gives a damn.  I know Eugene wants and expects the same.  We have gone above and beyond to ensure we’ve given this child everything he needs to be an exceptional, amazing young man.  Are we abnormal parents to hold our kids to high expectations?  I’m curious to know if we’re the crazy ones, maybe. 
 
I’ve seen a slight change in the “normal teenager’s” attitude the last couple weeks, but unfortunately, with report cards coming out next week, it’s a little too late for that at this juncture.  I guess we can only try to start fresh next semester and hope whoever stole my sweet kid will drop him back off at our front door. 
 
In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts.  On boys, on kids, on teenagers, on school, on your expectations, and on your experiences in parenting.  Please, please someone tell me we’re not alone in this invasion of the body snatchers.


15 Things the Girls Who Like My Son Need to Know


First, let me make this very clear to you before I go any further.  I don’t like you.

Okay, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I have a few more things I need you to know.

1. You are only 13.  That means you need to act like you’re only 13.

2. You don’t need to wear shorts that show off your hoo-hah.  That should be a well-kept secret until you’re at least in college and preferably married.

3. You are a lady.  Watch your mouth, and sound like one, too.  Cursing every other word doesn’t make you sound cool.  It makes you sound trashy.

4. Your duckface is ugly.  Stop posting it all over Facebook.

5. You do not need to be using your phone in the middle of the night.  Only whores need to do that, and hopefully you are not a whore yet.

6. Do not text my son anything relating to what you’d like to do to him.  Because I promise you – your daddy will not like hearing about it.

7. You need to stop posting pictures in those shirts where your boobies are nearly popping out.  Please, for the sake of all things good and holy, save something for prom night.

8. If you ask my son to go to the movies with you, you better plan on answering a 50-question test when you get home, regarding every single aspect of the movie.  Including the last 30 seconds.

9. I know my son’s passwords… to everything.  Phone, Facebook, Instagram, e-mail, Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, Linked in, Pinterest, everything.  Just keep that in mind.

10. I know how to aim and shoot a weapon.  Pretty well, in fact.  Daddies aren’t the only ones with shotguns.  Again, just a little something to keep in mind.

11. I will meet your parents before you ever step foot out of your house with my son.  And I will have their phone number programmed in my phone.

12. Remember, I will share all pictures you send to my son on my public Facebook page if I need to.

13. Smart girls are more attractive than stupid hussies.  Don’t play dumb.  It’s not cute.

14. If you ever come over to “study” with my son, you’d better believe that all you will be doing is studying.  And I will damn sure quiz you, so be prepared.

15. Getting pregnant will never be a retirement plan, so don’t even think about it.  It will never be your ticket out of your home town.  If you want him to stay with you forever, then just be a damn good girlfriend.  When you’re both 20.  Not 13.

Every trifling heifer who is constantly texting, calling, and messaging my 13-year-old son needs to read and understand this list first.  And then, after each one of them is sure she understands it, she needs to come meet me – to my face – and introduce herself like a lady with proper manners and grammar.  I just want to make sure they all know up front what to expect…

And now – just for gits and shiggles – these are some of the actual text messages I’ve received from said 13-year-old son.  Enjoy!


The Boys of Fall


Photo by Alicia Benton Photography

Photo by Alicia Benton Photography

He peered through the holes in his face mask and looked up into the bleachers. There they were – his whole family – beaming with pride at their star athlete. Okay, maybe he wasn’t a star yet. But he would be someday. He just knew it.

Photo by Alicia Benton Photography

Photo by Alicia Benton Photography

He heard the whistle blow, and he knew that this last play would determine the entire game. They were down by six, and a single last-second touchdown would seal the championship for him and his teammates.

He could feel the pressure. He could no longer hear the crowd of parents, grandparents, and siblings screaming their names, but could only hear his own heart pounding out of his chest.  Ba-boom.  Ba-boom.  Ba-boom.

He knew the team was counting on him. He couldn’t let them down. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and called his snap count. He felt the ball fall perfectly between his fingers. There was nothing like that feeling of the pigskin about to leave his hands and sail across the field.

He dropped back three steps, just like he did perfectly in practice every day. He caught a glimpse of his receiver at the exact spot on the field where he needed to be. This was it. The moment they had prepared for all season.

Photo by Alicia Benton Photography

Photo by Alicia Benton Photography

He cocked his arm back, took one last deep breath, and let the ball sail to its perfectly calculated place on the far-end of the field. The crowd fell silent. No one dared to blink. Even the players seemed to be in a trance as they watched the ball near its target.

It glided through the air and began its descent like a perfectly aimed missile. Only that’s when he noticed… It wasn’t quite perfect. It was a little too far past his eagerly waiting receiver. The crowd knew it, too. Everyone’s shoulders seemed to slump.

He could barely stand to watch as the ball landed only feet behind his receiver, thumping loudly to the turf. He heard the buzzer sound, signaling that the game was over. That the season was over. He had let his teammates down.

Photo by Alicia Benton Photography

Photo by Alicia Benton Photography

Dreading his walk of shame to the locker room, he put his head down, utterly defeated. How would he face his teammates now? He just couldn’t believe it. He practiced that exact play so many times that he was sure he could make the pass in his sleep.

As he headed back to the locker room, he thought about the irony of his refusal to look away from the very ground that caught his pass. He began rewinding the play in his mind just as he felt a hand grab his shoulder.

Sure he was going to be reamed by his coach or a teammate, he looked up slowly, fearing what was about to come. To his surprise, however, his entire team stood behind him, heads held high. He could barely keep his emotions in when it happened.

They hoisted him up on their shoulders and walked him the rest of the way to the locker room. They showered him with “good tries” and “we’ll get it next years.” He had never been so proud to be part of a team.

He knew that, at that very moment, they were more than just teammates.

They were brothers.

Photo by Alicia Benton Photography

Photo by Alicia Benton Photography


“I felt my mouth go dry, my throat constrict…” ~ Jennifer Paynter


Okay, so last night was one of those crazy nights – two baseball games on opposite sides of town.  The endless driving-like-a-maniac back and forth between fields already caused my blood pressure to go nuts.  On top of that, our last game didn’t end until after 10 – on a school night – which led to us eating a wonderful [insert sarcasm] dinner of McDonald’s at 10:30.  Ugh.  So we’re sitting at the dinner table eating scarfing down our food when the following conversation causes me to have a full-blown panic attack:

Ronald: Mom, what’s ‘jacking off’ mean? A kid in my class said that today.

Me: [Completely and utterly choking on my french fries] Um, excuse me, what?

Ronald: What’s ‘jacking off’ mean?

Me: Uh, maybe you should ask your brother about that.

Brother: Uh, maybe you should ask your father figure about that.

Me: Uh, uh, uh… Hold on – I’ll be right back! [Frantically dialing “father figure’s” phone number]

Me (upon reaching “father figure”): I need your help. ASAP. [Hand phone to Ronald like it’s a hot potato searing my fingers]

Ronald (to “father figure”): What’s ‘jacking off’ mean?

Father Figure: [Without missing a beat] Well, it’s basically playing with your own winkie dinkie.

Ronald: Eww! Gross!!!

Father Figure: Yep. So next time your classmate talks about jacking off, tell him you don’t want to hear about him playing with his own winkie dinkie. But don’t say jacking off… you’ll get in trouble by your teacher for that.

Ronald: Oh. Okay. Thank you – goodnight. [Still as cool as a cucumber]

Me: [Still hyperventilating] Okay.Timeforbed.Iloveyou.Goodnight. [I then proceed to crawl in my bed, curl up in a ball, and continue to remind myself to breath in and out. In and out.]

Before I had kids, people told me that kids were expensive.  I thought that only referred to diapers and stuff like that.  I had no idea that it meant room and board for the loony bin I’d end up in from the endless panic attacks they would give me.  Am I really cut out for raising two boys?  [Sigh.]

 


“That money talks, I’ll not deny, I heard it once: it said, ‘Goodbye’” ~Richard Armour


What would you do with $7,500? Probably something pretty stinkin’ cool, right? Take a vacation, maybe? Buy a new car? Well guess what I did with $7,500 today? Yep, I said ‘today’… I spent that much in one day. And it wasn’t on a car or a vacation. It was on braces. BOTH the boys needed braces at the same time – lucky me. I know that in a year-and-a-half, their perfect teeth will be worth the small fortune it cost to make them that way. But for now, I need to not think about the numerous other things that $7,500 could be spent on. Like what, you want to know? Well, let’s see… $7,500 could buy:

– 11 55” LED HD TVs
– 15 round-trip plane tickets from Charleston, SC to St. Croix, USVI
– 37.5 Xbox 360s
– 62 24” bicycles
– 83 pairs of Nike Free Run sneakers
– 833 movie tickets
– 937 months of unlimited movies on Netflix
– 1,875 Double Chocolaty Chip Frappucchinos from Starbucks
– 5,000 bottles of 20 oz. Coke
– 30,000 packs of Juicy Fruit

Or… $7,500 could buy 2 kids braces. I chose to go with that option. Please remind me that my kids having amazingly perfect teeth someday will make me happier than any trip to St. Croix or 1,875 Starbucks Frappucchinos. Mmm… Starbucks. Oh wait. I’m getting sidetracked. Yes, these braces will make us all happy, and they’re the best thing I could have spent $7,500 on. Right? [Confirmation, please.]

         


“The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.” ~Saki


People say that dreams and goals are what keep us going.  As I sit here and ponder that, I also can’t help but think about how my goals have changed after having children.  If you have kids, you probably know exactly what I’m talking about.  If you don’t, you may wonder just how much a person’s dreams can possibly change.  Well, let me explain it to you…

Goal Before Kids:  To save up enough money to go to law school
Goal After Kids:  To save up enough money to send both kids to school with lunch money on the same day

Goal Before Kids:  To make time to travel abroad
Goal After Kids:  To make time to pee

Goal Before Kids:  To learn to speak French fluently
Goal After Kids:  To learn to speak “tween” fluently (See here for “Tween 101”)

Goal Before Kids:  To retire by the age of 40
Goal After Kids:  To get my kids out of my house by the age of 40

Goal Before Kids:  To get a job right out of school
Goal After Kids:  To keep a job (Thanks, Mr. Pres…)

Goal Before Kids:  To have a big, beautiful house
Goal After Kids:  To have a tiny house so it is easier to shove everything under the bed and make it appear beautiful

Goal Before Kids:  To have good credit
Goal After Kids:  To have any credit (Thanks, sperm donor…)

Goal Before Kids:  To look fabulous in a bikini
Goal After Kids:  To make sweats look fabulous

Goal Before Kids:  To not let my gym membership expire
Goal After Kids:  To not let my library card expire

Pitiful, right?  But at least I still have goals!  As Lewis Carroll says in Alice in Wonderland:

Cat:  Where are you going?
Alice:  Which way should I go?
Cat:  That depends on where you are going.
Alice:  I don’t know.
Cat:  Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.

Make goals.  Have dreams.  If you can’t reach them right now, make new ones.  You’ll reach them eventually (or at least be able to blog about them) – Don’t ever give up!!!

BEFORE KIDS:

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

AFTER KIDS:

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography


“Despite being what would now be called a deprived child in a one parent family, I did not grow up with an urge to smash windows or to bash old ladies over the head in order to steal handbags.” ~Eva Hart


Photo by Alicia Benton

Photo by Alicia Benton

Single parenting is H-A-R-D work!!!  I mean, parenting with a partner is tough, but single parenting is the hardest job on the face of the planet.  There are days when I don’t know if I can even get out of the bed for fear of bursting into tears the moment someone speaks to me.  Now, don’t get me wrong… I don’t want a pity party, and I’m not looking for sympathy.  I’m just amazed by every single parent I meet.  Seriously.  I think that single parents are secretly superheroes in disguise.

Superheroes:

Are Strong:  Have you ever carried in 100 bags of groceries (50 on each arm) by yourself while the kids are pushing you over to try to find the one with the Cheez-Its in it?  A single parent has.

Are Brave:  Have you ever had to get out of the bed to kill a giant, man-eating spider by yourself [what?!] because the kids are already asleep?  A single parent has.  (And let me tell you… that’s brave.)

Are Intelligent:  Have you ever had to remember what x equals if a is three, b is five, and c is purple over fifteen years after learning it the first time?  A single parent has.

Have Special Powers:  Do you have eyes in the back of your head and super-sensitive hearing that help you divert crayon-all-over-the-walls disasters before they happen?  A single parent does.

Wear Costumes:  Have you ever had to go out in public in a bathrobe and one slipper, with fruit snacks in your hair in order to get the cupcakes your kid promised the teacher he’d bring to school this morning but just told you about ten minutes ago?  A single parent has.

Earn Respect:  Have you ever been grocery shopping and have people look at you in amazement because you can unload the cart, pay, pick up the fifty packs of gum that just “fell for no reason,” and not manage to lose the kids all at the same time?  A single parent has.

Are Athletic:  Can you carry a kid on one hip, a baseball bag on the other, have a good hold on another kid’s hand, all while running full-speed through the parking lot so they’re not late for practice?  A single parent can.

Have a Sidekick:  Do you constantly have someone on your heels at all times, sticking their little fingers under the bathroom door while you’re trying to enjoy three seconds in peace and quiet pee?  A single parent does.

Are Role Models:  Do you have impressionable little people watching your every move and listening to every word that comes out of your mouth, just waiting with bated breath for the second they get to do exactly what you just did?  A single parent does.

Have a Weakness:  Do you risk the chance of acquiring the world’s largest ulcer because you’re constantly worried sick about who your kid is becoming, who they’re talking to, hanging out with, what they’re learning about from the hoodlums they go to school with, whether they’re safe, etc., etc. (you get the drift)?  A single parent does.

Use Gadgets:  Have you ever had the joy of sitting on the floor until your knees no longer work, putting 10,000 Lego pieces together, only to have your masterpiece smashed to smithereens thirty minutes later?  A single parent has.

Have an Arch Enemy:  Have you ever had to explain your every move and pure motive to an “ex,” who is dying for you fail and will never ever admit that you’re actually doing a pretty good job raising kids?  A single parent has.

Have a Hideout:  Have you ever pretended having to poop just so you could sit in the bathroom by yourself for an extra ten minutes in peace and quiet?  A single parent has.

Have an Alter Ego:  Have you ever been referred to as “Mom,” “Hey Mom,” “Mommy,” “Mom,” “Ma,” “Hey Mom” (or “Dad,” “Hey Dad,” “Daddy,” “Dad,” “Hey Dad”)  more times in a day than you have by your real first name?  A single parent has.

Have a Love Interest:  Have you ever felt a love so whole and complete you couldn’t imagine your life without the ones who filled you with that love or remember your life before it?  A single parent has.

Have a Cool Ride:  Do you drive a vehicle that can fit twice as much cargo and old french fries in it as the manual in the glove compartment says it can?  A single parent does.

Have a Goal:  Have you ever dreamed about the night you may actually get to go out with fellow adults and have adult beverages and adult conversations without worrying that your kids are going to go bat-poop-crazy on each other while you’re gone?  A single parent has.

To all single parents – You are my superheroes.  I hope your kids grow up to be as resilient and tough as you are.


“Slang is the suitcase of the damned, my dear. CHECK IT.” ~Heather Cocks


Okay, so I’m a little behind the times.  Every time I say something is cool or awesome or rad or even gnarly [lol], I get a major “you’re an idiot” eye roll from my completely gnarly [lol] teenager.  That, of course, would be Gerald, who is the epitome of cool (at least in his own head).  When we have conversations, I often feel like I’m speaking to an alien from another planet… one to which I’ve not been honored to visit yet.  In an effort to help all of my fellow “bofs” [noun: boring old farts] have ridiculous effective conversations with today’s teens, I’ve put together a mini cheat-sheet for quick reference.

Here’s your 2013 “Teen Slang for Dummies” guide:

Beast

Old fart definition:  noun – any nonhuman animal, especially a large, four-footed mammal
Hip teen definition:  adjective – very good; excellent; cool; awesome
Example:  Dude, your news kicks are beast!

Chill

Old fart definition:  adjective – moderately cold; tending to cause shivering
Hip teen definition:  adjective – great; awesome; cool; fine; okay; fun; low-key
Example:  Man, that penny board is so chill!

Derp

Old fart definition:  This word does not exist in our normal, old fart language.
Hip teen definition:  noun – dummy
Example:  Come on, stop being such a derp.

Dookie Fresh

Old fart definition:  Again, THANKFULLY, this word does not exist in our normal, old fart language.
Hip teen definition:  adjective – excellent; awesome; cool
Example:  Wow, those rims are dookie fresh!

Fetch

Old fart definition:  verb – to go and bring back; return with; get
Hip teen definition:  adjective – great; awesome; cool
Example:  That new song by Macklemore is so fetch!

Gnarly

Old fart definition:  adjective – another word for gnarled; slang for distasteful, offensive, or gross
Hip teen definition:  adjective – very good; excellent; cool  (yep… precisely the opposite of what it meant when we old folks were growing up)
Example:  That homerun was gnarly!

Hoss Boss  (Nope, not kidding…)

Old fart definition:  As you probably guessed, this word does not exist in our normal, old fart language.
Hip teen definition:  adjective – incredibly awesome; great
Example:  That kid is totally hoss boss!  He should hang with us!

Pure

Old fart definition:  adjective – clear; free from blemishes; free from foreign elements
Hip teen definition:  adjective – awesome; extremely excellent; great
Example:  Dude, that dunk was pure!

Ratchet

Old fart definition:  noun – a toothed bar with which a pawl engages
Hip teen definition:  adjective – loud; rude; obnoxious; severely ghetto
Example:  Man, that chick is mad ratchet.  I wish she would just shut up!

Ridiculous

Old fart definition:  adjective – absurd; preposterous; laughable
Hip teen definition:  adjective – extremely impressive; unbelievable; very good; excellent; cool; awesome
Example:  Dude, Clowney’s tackle on that kid was ridiculous!

Sick

Old fart definition:  adjective – affected with ill health or disease
Hip teen definition:  adjective – crazy; insane; great; cool; awesome
Example:  That skateboard trick was sick

Smoking

Old fart definition:  verb – to give off or emit smoke
Hip teen definition:  adjective – extremely attractive; hot
Example:  The new girl in my math class is smoking!

Sweet

Old fart definition:  adjective – having the taste or flavor characteristic of sugar or honey; not rancid
Hip teen definition:  adjective – used to express extreme satisfaction or approval; good; excellent; cool
Example:  No school tomorrow?  Sweet!

Whack

Old fart definition:  verb – to strike with a resounding blow
Hip teen definition:  adjective – bad; sucks, crazy; insane
Example:  Man, that’s whack that your mom grounded you.

Wicked

Old fart definition:  adjective – evil or morally bad in principle; mischievous
Hip teen definition:  adjective – awesome; cool; used to add emphasis
Example:  Holy crap, it’s wicked cold outside!

Okay… So now that you’re up-to-speed on today’s hippest language, I challenge you to go strike up a conversation with a teenager.  I know.  That’s ridiculous, isn’t it?  😉


“I’d learned that some things are best kept secret.” ~Nicholas Sparks


Photo by Alicia Benton

Photo by Alicia Benton

Photo by Alicia Benton

Photo by Alicia Benton

Ten secrets my kids don’t know about me:

1.  I am absolutely TERRIFIED of the world in which they’re growing up.  Murders, drugs, gangs, bullying, lack of respect, Liberals…

2.  I wonder every day if I’m failing as a mom.  Do all moms wonder if they’re doing a good job or ruining their kids for life?

3.  I’m broke.  No, seriously…

4.  I’m worried about whether I’ll ever be that mother-in-law.  You know – the monster who hates any female who tries to steal her son from her.

5.  It breaks my heart every morning that I drop them off at school and don’t get to walk them to their classes anymore.  Psycho.  I know, I know.

6.  They’re my heroes.  [See why here.]

7.  I really don’t have eyes in the back of my head.  They still wonder, to this day, how it is that I know every time they’re doing something they shouldn’t be.  (I’m just awesome like that, I guess.)

8.  I’m not really counting down the days until they move out.  In fact, in reality, I’m dreading it.  What will my purpose in life be when I’m no longer needed as a 24-hour-a-day referee?

9.  I don’t really sit around all day and think about how to make their lives miserable.  I don’t know if they’d believe this one since I’m often known as “The Meanest Mom in the World.”

10.  I love Bruno Mars.  If they knew that, then they would decide that they hated him, and we wouldn’t get to listen to him in the car anymore.

Someday (hopefully no time within the next 40 15 years) they’ll have little munchkins of their own, and then I’ll finally sit down and share my secrets with them.  By then, they’ll have their own secrets to keep from nosey little ears (and not just from me).  How terrifying refreshing will that day be?!


“I want you to think about it long and hard.” ~Michael (from The Office)


As a parent to a tween and a teen, I find myself praying quite often that they won’t pick up on the latest moronic cool terms and phrases that many other kids their age have coined as “sick” or “beast.”  Unfortunately for me, however, God finds some of my other prayer requests more urgent and answers those first.  (He’s got quite a sense of humor, in case you didn’t know.)  Anyway, sure enough, the boys have recently discovered the joy in the infamous phrase, “That’s what she said.”  Yep – that’s right.  They’re only about eight years behind the times on this one, but they love it (and think it’s hilarious) nonetheless.  Here’s a little sneak peak into my torturous, testosterone-filled house:

My sister:  Alicia, do you want the brownies with nuts or without?
Me:  With.  I don’t like the ones without nuts.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Gerald:  Mom, do you want the rest of this cornbread?
Me:  No, it’s too hard now.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Ronald:  Mom, look at this bruise I got at practice today.
Me:  Wow, it’s huge.  It must really hurt.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Gerald:  Mom, are you going to eat this candy bar?
Me:  No.  I don’t really like white chocolate.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Me:  Ronald, you had a great hit today!
Ronald:  I – –
Gerald:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Me:  That made me choke.  It went down the wrong hole.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Me:  Ronald, you need to hurry up and finish that.  It’s not that hard.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Gerald:  Mom, I don’t like these potatoes.
Me:  Well then just hurry up and swallow them.  And don’t eat anymore.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Ronald:  Mom, come look at this spider!
Me:  Where?  I can’t see it.  It’s too small.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

— Um… FAIL!!  They’ll get it eventually… —

What happened to the days when my boys were sweet and innocent?  Okay, wait…  Those may have never existed.  That may have only been in my head.  Hmm – It’s a good thing they’re cute.


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