Tag Archives: blogging

Another Award? For Me?


I admit it – I have been slacking on my award posts.  Now please know that this does not mean that I’m not super grateful.  I most certainly am.

Akshita, from The Writer’s Nest was amazingly kind to me and nominated me for The Wonderful Team Member Readership Award, which I was really excited about because I’ve never been given this one.

Here are the rules:

1. Display the logo on your blog.

2. Nominate 14 readers you appreciate over a period of seven days, all at once or little by little.  Don’t forget to link to their blogs and tell them they’ve been nominated!

Here are 14 of the readers I appreciate:

1. Twinkle Toes and Ninja Boy – The future POTUS?  Definitely a possibility…

2. WAITING ON A WORD – I’d say she really likes to write!  And I’m glad!

3. Topic Spill – Two kids?  Loves football?  A crush on Tim Tebow?  Yes, yes, and yes!!!

4. Live2EatEat2Live Blog – Seeing as I am a lover of food myself, I appreciate The Mouse tremendously!

5. msCandaceMarie – I still just love her beautiful little family!

6. Luminous Blue – I still have not run across a blog with a more beautiful – and heartbreaking – back story.

7. mutteringheart – As you all know, God and music are what keep me going, too.

8. Tails from Paris – Always a guaranteed smile.

9. Valley Girl Gone Country – I swear she and I are kindred spirits.

10. Where Words Fail… – She’s stuck between staying young and becoming an adult – I can appreciate that in my denial of finally reaching my 30s!

11. Lisa Johnson Sawyer – She grew up with a strict disciplinarian mom, too.  (That takes a special person, people!)

12. Carmela Snelbaker– She takes on many important roles: mom, grandma, and author.

13. Cowboys and Crossbones – My bucket list now includes hanging out with her… You know she must be cool!

14. IASoupMama – Smart.  Funny.  Sarcastic.  Busy.  Boy, can I appreciate her!

Congrats to all these amazing bloggers – You inspire me!!!

Thank you again, Akshita!

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I Suck at Not Being Awesome


Whoop whoop!  I got another award, guys!  Valley Girl Gone Country nominated me for The Versatile Blogger Award!

Go follow her blog if you don’t already.  She is freaking hilarious and may or may not enjoy giving out sex advice.  You’ll thank me for sending you her way!

Thank you so much for the award, Jolene!!!

Now, on to the rules of this award:

1. Display the award on your page.

2. Announce your win with a post.  Link back to your nominator as a ‘thank you’ for the nomination.

3. Present 15 awards to other deserving bloggers, and let them know you’ve nominated them.

4. Post 7 interesting things about yourself.

As always, let get the 7 things out of the way first:

1. I am a master Googler, in case you haven’t already noticed.

Source: The Meta Picture

Source: The Meta Picture

2. The first concert I saw was the Backstreet Boys… back in like 1996 before they had any hits.  The only song anyone somewhat knew was “Quit Playing Games with My Heart.”  We didn’t even have to stand in line for autographs!  (Nick was dreamy, by the way…)

3. We also saw INOJ in concert that summer.  Does anyone remember her?  [Now singing non-stop in my head: “Let me love you doooooown…”]

4. I smell all food and drinks before I eat or drink them.  Don’t act like you don’t do that, too…

Source: Soda Head

Source: Soda Head

5. I read magazines from back to front, and I look at pictures online from right to left.  This is my calendar:

6. I can touch my tongue to my nose.

Source: Soda Head

Source: Soda Head

7. I’ve never seen The Princess Bride.

Source: Kootation

Source: Kootation

And now… here are my 15 nominees for the Versatile Blogger Award:

1. talktodiana

2. Things Could Be Worse…

3. Psycho Girl Self Help

4. Dad, It’s OK!

5. The Adventures of Fanny P.

6. Carmela Snelbaker

7. stuff i tell my sister

8. Dani Alexis

9. northierthanthou

10. The Leaking Boob

11. Keeping it Real

12. Outlaw Mama

13. Where Words Fail…

14. This Is Parenthood

15. To Talk of Many Things

————————————————————-

Thank you again for the award, Jolene!  I’m glad you like me again!

I like you, too.  In fact, I like you so much that I’m awarding you with the Medal of Awesomeness!

Here’s how this award works:

1. [Proudly] display the Medal of Awesomeness on your page.

2. Give a shout out to your nominator.

3. Nominate one of your favorite fellow bloggers to receive the Medal of Awesomeness so he or she can be as awesome as you.

4. Tell us 20 song lines or lyrics that best describe you/your life.

5. Your lyrics cannot have any reference to cats.  None.


If Being Awesome Was a Crime, I’d Be Serving a Life Sentence


Once again, I’ve been shocked and humbled… I got a notification yesterday from the mmmmm family that she nominated me for The Versatile Blogger Award!  She made no mention of me being old (ahem) or weird (ahem).  She just mentioned “well done” and “lovely,” thank you very much.

If you haven’t checked out her blog, by the way, do it now!  She’s an amazing wife and mommy.  And she’s brave, caring, and funny.  Thank you so much for the award, Michaela!!!

Now, on to the rules of this award:

1. Display the award on your page.

2. Announce your win with a post.  Link back to your nominator as a ‘thank you’ for the nomination.

3. Present 15 awards to other deserving bloggers, and let them know you’ve nominated them.

4. Post 7 interesting things about yourself.

Let’s get the 7 things out of the way first:

1. I am officially in “study for the LSAT” mode now.  I got this.  (Yes, I’m trying to convince myself more than you.)

2. I used to wish that I was Kelly Kapowski.  

Source: wikia

Source: wikia

So I would grow up to look like this:  (You’re welcome.)

Source: Barstool Sports

Source: Barstool Sports

3. I love going to the dentist.  Yes, I said love.

Source: Jokeroo

Source: Jokeroo

4. I can’t take any type of cold or allergy medicine.  It’s like crack.  Seriously. 

Me on cold medicine:

Source: Celebitchy

Source: Celebitchy

5. I hate orange foods.  All of them.  Yuck.

Source: Squidoo

Source: Squidoo

6. I can speak a little bit of French.  I took five years of it – I should know more than a little.

Source: Doble LOL

Source: Doble LOL

7. I hate surprises. 

And now… here are my 15 nominees for the Versatile Blogger Award (along with my favorite quotes from their pages):

1. rarasaur “Cows don’t use toilets.”

2. E’s Blog “If I don’t say anything, no one will know who I am. If I say too much, I’m a conceited asshole.”

3. Main Street Musings “In my L.A. world, lobster came pre cracked, along with a bowl of warm lemon water for hand washing, and a plastic bib that said ‘Red Lobster.’”

4. Mollytopia – “I’d rather eat a deep-fried turd than say anything about myself…”

5. That Unique* Weblog “More than once I have muttered, ‘I’m going to stick a fork in my eye’…”

6. LIFE: everyone has one! “I run faster, I look better in a wife beater, and I could probably beat her in arm wrestling or regular wrestling, if she was brave enough to try…..Plus mom likes me better!!”

7. Ben’s Bitter Blog “I immediately screamed like a little girl.”

8. don of all trades “I can do many things half-assed.”

9. Other than Lovie “This growing old shit is for the birds.”

10. Anna Lea West “The perfect day would include loved ones, mexican food and seeing someone bounce off a sliding glass door.”

11. Adventures, Aspirations and “Aha” Moments “Fake it till you make it.”

12. anelephantcant “Occasionally funny, sometimes serious, mostly pointless.”

13. Dadicus Grinch “I look part chicken, part zombie, and 100% creeper.”

14. RePrEsSeD ExPrEsSiOnS “No, idiot, you broke my concentration, now it’s starting to dribble out!”

15. “Normal” is the New Boring “Parenting is a special kind of crazy…”

Thank you again for the award, Michaela!


“I’ve won many awards and I want more. If you want to call it hunger, then I’m hungry for awards.” ~Shahrukh Khan


Shine On Award

Shine On Award

Yep, that’s right.  I’m the proud winner of another award.  [Patting myself on the back.]  I’m not trying to be arrogant about it, but I’ve already told you that I base my entire self-worth on the number of awards I’ve won and my stats.  My stats aren’t too hot; therefore, this award is what’s keeping me from sinking into a deep despairing pity party for myself.  Okay, I’m exaggerating a little bit.  But anyway, this one came from one of my very favorite bloggers, Danielle, from TheLifeandTimesofaMom.  She nominated me for the Shine On Award.  It certainly can’t be because I’m always such a bright ray of sunshine, but I’ll happily accept it anyway!

Here are the rules:

1. Display the award logo on your blog page.

2. Link back to the awesome person who nominated you.

3. Tell seven things about yourself.

4. Nominate 15 other bloggers who are deserving of this award.

Okay, I’ve gotten the easy ones out of the way.  Now for the hard part – seven things about myself that you guys don’t already know.

1. My favorite ice cream is Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey.  I loooove banana ice cream.  Other than that, I’m not really a big ice cream fan.  Except chocolate soft serve.  I love that.

Source: Film School Rejects

Source: Film School Rejects

2. I have a massive celebrity crush on Nick Lachey.  If it wasn’t for that gorgeous witch Vanessa, I’d totally have a chance.  [Think Dumb & Dumber here…]

Source: Celeb Great

Source: Celeb Great

3. I’m very anxiously awaiting the start of the next season of Sons of Anarchy.  It’s my new favorite show.  I remember swearing it wouldn’t be my thing, but now I’m completely hooked.  I can’t wait to watch Tara plot her revenge against Gemma…

Source: fanpop!

Source: fanpop!

4. Unlike most women, I don’t collect purses.  Instead, I collect bathing suits.  I don’t know what it is I love about them, but I could probably wear a different one each day for an entire month.  Regardless of how many I have, though, I still have one favorite… (and yes – those are rhinestones people!)

5. My favorite food – besides bacon, of course – is potatoes.  Except sweet potatoes.  Those are disgusting.  What’s even better than potatoes and bacon?  Potatoes WITH bacon.  Yummmm.

Source: A Family Feast

Source: A Family Feast

6. If I could go anywhere in the world, I would go to Africa.  It’s #1 on my bucket list.

Alicia Benton Photography

Alicia Benton Photography

7. I love puzzles and mind games.  Regular puzzles, crossword puzzles, logic puzzles, number puzzles… Anything that gets my brain working overtime.  One of my favorites is Shut the Box.  Warning: It’s addictive.

Source: Amazon.com

Source: Amazon.com

And now… My 15 nominees – I’m trying to not pick the same people that Arden and Danielle picked:

1. E’s Blog – Every new blogger should start off with an award.  It’s quite a boost of confidence.

2. TalktoDiana – She’s thoughtful, giving, and selfless.  And she likes quotes as much as I do!

3. The Jogging Dad – He lives in Sydney; he’s a runner; he’s a dad… what’s not to love?!

4. Cowboys and Crossbones – She’s the most fun-loving, easy-going person I’ve never met, and I’d love to hang out with her for a weekend.

5. Cordelia’s Road Trip – Every single post she writes has me laughing.  Seriously.  Read them.

6. this is lemonade – She is wise enough to know that when life is pummeling you with lemons and is pouring on your parade, you make lemonade and march on.  She’s an inspiration to me.

7. bwthoughts – He’s humble, has defeated cancer, and has a great attitude.  He’s a fighter.  I love fighters.  Oh yeah… one more thing – He’s going out to buy a purple shirt!!!

8. Jennifer’s Journal – She’s the proud mom of a successful, beautiful girl, whom she had when she was only 18.  (I can relate to how hard that is.)  She’s a great writer and photographer.

9. HeySugarSugar – I love her randomness.  She writes like I think.  And she says what’s on her mind, which you all know, I can appreciate.

10. Dadicus Grinch – Dadicus has been married for 12 years.  That makes him my hero!  Also he wears parachute pants, which definitely makes him awesome!  😉

11. Mollytopia – Seriously, y’all… she’s my long-lost twin.

12. Getting it Together – She like me, has a goal each day of just making it out alive!  Her adventures in raising little strippers are quite hilarious!

13. suzie81’s blog – I love her honesty and transparency.  For example, see this post.

14. Breathing Space – I love her blog because she’s an amazing writer.  I’m pretty sure she’ll break the rules to this award, but definitely make sure you check out her page!  😉

15. The Happsters – Their whole point is to bring people happiness!  I love that!

Thank you again, Danielle, for this awesome award!!


“My blog is a collection of answers people don’t want to hear to questions they didn’t ask.” ~Sebastyne Young


Source: lovebuildsthishappyhome.blogspot.com

Source: lovebuildsthishappyhome.blogspot.com

Saturday’s Be Happy Challenge:

– Your Top Three Favorite Blogs to Read and Why. –

I hate this one.  It’s so hard to pick only three blogs that I love.  I have about four times more than that that I absolutely look forward to reading every day.

But, I’ll suck it up and follow the prompt.  Three of my favorite blogs are:

1. Mollytopia

I love her for a number of reasons.  First of all, she once said that she’d rather eat a deep-fried turd than say anything about herself that doesn’t just naturally come up in conversation.  A deep-fried turd!!!  Amazing!

Second, she’s from the same place I am – The Redneck Riviera Myrtle Beach.  I think we probably lived there at the same time – back when I was partying like it was 1999.  She moved from there to Columbia.  And you all know what’s in Columbia… THE GAMECOCKS!!!

She’s an awesome mom, and her conversations with her daughter, Anna, are unquestionably hilarious!

Reading her blog makes my drink come out of my nose on occasion.  If you want a burny nose, too, then definitely check it out!!!

2. TheLifeandTimesofaMom

Every time I read Danielle’s blog, I forget that she’s still just a baby.  She’s got a tremendous amount of wisdom, and while I’ve never met her, I’d say it’s a pretty safe bet to call her an old soul.  She’s beautifully transparent, and she’s not ashamed of who she is.

She, like me, is a proud mommy of two boys.  That in and of itself makes her deserving of a medal!  And a vacation!

3. Dad, It’s Ok! 

Other than the fact that he’s a Georgia fan, he’s an incredible, humble person and blogger!  He’s newly married and expecting a little princess in just a few weeks [gulp!].  I love that through his writing, I can feel the love he has for his little family.

I can’t wait until Lauren (the wifey) has the baby so that I can read all about his new adventures into daddyhood!

Man, there are so many more people whose blogs I love, and they at least deserve a shout-out!  More (but not all) of my faves are:

This Typing Makes Me Look Busy….

don of all trades

“Normal” is the New Boring

Cowboys and Crossbones

RePrEsSeD ExPrEsSiOnS

Fish of Gold

Fusteratedreader’s Blog

Ben’s Bitter Blog

julie chicklitasaurus

rarasaur

The Girl Who Blogs


“It’s the first time it’s happened to me and maybe the last. It’s a strange sensation, not normal for me.” ~Zinedine Zidane


Oh.  My.  Goodness.  People!!!  My blogging cherry has FINALLY been popped.  It took the longest two months in history, but yesterday I fiiiiinally reached 1,000 views!  I wish I could figure out exactly who my thousandth viewer was because I’d reach out over the Interwebs and kiss that blessed soul.

Source: Daily Picks and Flicks

Source: Daily Picks and Flicks

And it gets better!  That’s right – It gets better!  I also reached my best ever number of views this week!  Okay, now granted, it was on the day I posted three posts, but still.  Best ever!  Wait.  That’s still not all!  I’ve also picked up FIVE new followers so far this week!  Maybe I do deserve all those awards after all…

So as I was sitting here analyzing and overanalyzing my stats page (you know you do it, too), I noticed that I have the best search engine terms ever.  Here are some of the scary amazing ones:

1. “does jacking off help with panic attacks”

If whoever ran this search could let me know what he found, I’d be interested to know the answer to that.  I doubt you found it in one of my blogs, although maybe I should do some research and blog my results.

2. “sister walks in on brother in shower”

Um, sick.  Knock.  Or lock the dang door.

Source: DIY LOL

Source: DIY LOL

3. “little boys butt crack”

Really?  Sick perv.  You’ll be the next psycho on “To Catch a Predator.”

4. “how the eyes sink into the skull”

Hmm, I’m not so sure about this one.  Sounds a little sick to me.  Must have been either a meth head or a zombie.  They’re very similar, you know…

5. “son farted pooped diapers dinner table blog”

Did someone really write a blog about this?  I bet she hasn’t even reached a thousand views yet.  Smh.

6. “your crazy and i hate you”

I would be willing to bet that whoever did this search (albeit with very poor grammar) found exactly what they were looking for on my always-positive blog.

Source: Rotten eCards

Source: Rotten eCards

7. “women are crazy”

Ding ding ding!  And YOU, Mr. Google Searcher, are the winner, as you did not phrase your search in the form of a question because you already knew this!  Smart man.

8. “nothing more beautiful than a woman walking from behind”

So this one just made me laugh out loud.

9. “my under eyes are very skull”

Turn your autocorrect off, mister.

10. “hot mon blow job to son huge dick jering off”

Um, excuse me?  You want to run that by me one more time?  Good lawd, I hope he didn’t find what he was looking for in one of my posts.

11. “being deprived as a child”

Please seek professional help, as my blog will in no way, shape, or form provide any therapy that you may need.  In fact, you may end up more deprived than before you read my blog.

12. “teen douchebag girls”

Bahahahaha!  Twenty bucks says this search was run by a teen boy who just had his heart broken.  Poor guy.

13. “gang bully diapers pee fear”

Uh, what happened to the days of just stealing someone’s lunch money?

14. “skulliion .. this dayn isn gettin eeeper”

Were you drunk when you typed this?  I hope so because I’m just not sure I know what to say to that.

So… as you can see, it’s no wonder my views have increased.  Apparently it doesn’t matter what you type into the Google – my blog will pop up.  Unfortunately for me, however, I’m not sure that anyone who’s not certifiably crazy has seen it.  With that being said, though, I’ll take the views however I can get them.

Source: someecards

Source: someecards


“Yeah, well. I don’t try to be awesome. It just comes natural.” ~Rick Riordan


Let me start off by saying that I hate love ArdenDamn Thank you, Arden.  Thank you so much for giving me the ABC Award!  According to my stats page, I don’t deserve this award, which leads me to believe that you really just want to watch me shifting and writhing uncomfortably in my chair all day as I try to respond to my nomination.  Yep.  That sounds about right.

Here are the rules to this award:

1. Add the ABC Award to your new post.

ABC Award

2. A-B-C about yourself using one word or phrase.  (No, you cannot leave out ‘Q’ or ‘X’)

3. Nominate however many blogs you’d like to receive this award.

4. Let the recipients you’ve chosen know via a link in their comments section of their blogs.

And now, let my misery begin…

Anal.  [I think you’ve already figured this out about me.]

B-e-a-utiful.  [Not really, but I love saying that.]

Candid.  [Arden knows this firsthand.]

Dookie fresh.

Excellent.

Frisky.

Ghostly.  [I need Charleston to feel like Charleston now, please.  It’s May.  I need a tan.]

Honest.  [Brutally so.]

Impatient.  [And Intimidating.]

Jealous.  [Of everyone who has more than 66 followers.  Pathetic.]

Knee-deep.  [In crap I don’t want to deal with today.]

Left-handed.

Mom.  [I don’t even know my real name anymore.]

Nauseous.  [I have the stomach flu at the moment.  Don’t worry, Arden… I won’t discuss poop.]

Overweightphobic.  [Also known as cacomorphobic.]

Political.  [Don’t get me started.]

Quite certain I’m capable of murder.

Realistic.  [Some like to call is pessimistic.  I would beg to differ.]

Sarcastic.  [Literally all the time.]

Traffic snob.  [If it’s more than 15 minutes away, I’m not going.]

Uncompromising.

Vexed.  [Anyone who reads my blog knows that this is pretty often.]

Wanting.  [I need want a vacation and a million dollars.]

X-wife.  [I wear that badge proudly.]

Yeller.  [I can admit it.  Maybe no one heard me the first time.  Maybe.]

Zealous.  [About several issues.  Again, don’t get me started…]

And no, without further adieu, my nominees for the ABC Award are:

Marriage, Motherhood and Madness.  Mia is hilarious, and she blogs for the same reason I do: to get some time to herself!  (She’s also the real Slim Shady, by the way.)

Ben’s Bitter Blog.  While he, too, is hilarious (and tall), he’s also jealous that Arden nominated me for the award.  Stop being bitter, Ben.  Now it’s your turn.


“Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write…can manage to escape the madness…which is inherent in a human situation.” ~Graham Greene


For me, blogging has become therapeutic, in a sense.  Obviously, as you all now know, I have a lot of few issues that I deal with on a pretty regular basis: anger problems, OCD, parenting troubles, anxiety, time management issues… the list goes on.  Instead of a seeing a psychologist, though, I’ve discovered that all of YOU are now my shrinks!  Who needs therapy and counseling when you have blogging?!

Source: rocketcitymom.com
Source: rocketcitymom.com

Reasons Why Blogging is Better Than Therapy:

1. Therapy consists of a relationship between you and a counselor, in which there is a mutual commitment.

* Blogging doesn’t require a commitment from anyone.

Source: Etsy

Source: Etsy

2. A therapist is used as a guide in exploring your feelings, thoughts, relationships, and behaviors.

* Blogging allows you explore your feelings and thoughts, as well.  If you doubt this, see here.  I think I did a pretty darn good job of exploring and sharing my feelings, no?

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

3. A therapist coaches you regarding learning about yourself and the way you relate to others.

* Isn’t that what our fellow bloggers do in the “Comments” section?!

Source: The Daily Uplift

Source: The Daily Uplift

4. Therapy helps you discuss many issues, such as deep anger and regrets.

* Well, obviously we bloggers discuss those things pretty openly, too.

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

5. Therapy can become pretty expensive and usually costs around $100 per hour.

* Blogging is free!!  (Suckers!)

Source: Funny Times

Source: Funny Times

6. Therapists usually have a bunch of letters after their names, and most people don’t even know what they mean.

* My blogger therapists only have .com after their names.  Much easier to understand, right?

Source: Interesting and Fun

Source: Interesting and Fun

7. People who get therapy are often labeled as “crazy.”

* People who blog are just seen as “creative.”  [wink, wink]

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

8. Therapy can be somewhat intimidating when you have someone sitting across from you just staring at you, eagerly anticipating your every word so they can then judge “diagnose” you.

* Bloggers can feel comfortable saying whatever the heck they want (obviously, in my case) without ever having to lay eyes on their “judgers.”

Source: Cafe Press

Source: Cafe Press

9. You’re stuck reading a bunch of fine print about confidentiality in therapy.

* Wait, what?!  You mean my blog isn’t private?  I would’ve guessed it was based on my stats page.  Oh well, I trust you all with my deepest, darkest secrets.  You guys usually have an equal amount of your own.  [Insert evil laugh here.]

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

10. In therapy, you need to cancel your appointments 24 hours in advance.

* If I don’t feel like blogging today, then dang it, I won’t blog today!

Source: thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com

Source: thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com

11. A lot of therapists won’t accept your medical insurance without issuing a diagnosis on your “condition.”

* My blogs are self-diagnoses that I’m crazy, and that means I don’t even need to use my insurance!!!

Source: 9LoLs.com

Source: 9LoLs.com

So, to make a long story short, I don’t need a therapist.  I have YOU people… and your therapy is free!  So thank you in advance for our many future counseling sessions.  And, most importantly, please don’t be so quick to diagnose me as crazy.  Or angry.  Or OCD.  Or bitter.  Or mean.  Or a bad mom.  You get the point–

Source: Zazzle

Source: Zazzle


“I have a social life. But I don’t discuss it.” ~Ed Koch


No, I really don’t have a social life… But it wasn’t until a fellow amazing blogger called me out on my lack of one yesterday that I realized how pathetic my social life really is.  Yes… that’s right.  He told me that Facebook, Twitter, and WordPress don’t count as social life outlets.  What?!  Well, crap.  Where does that leave me???

Source: Zoot Patrol

Source: Zoot Patrol

I’m only 31 [gasp – did I say “only”?], and I have two kids.  In case you didn’t know, a lot of 31-year-olds haven’t even started making babies yet.  At least not many I know.  In fact, several of my girlfriends are still in their late 20s [bitches…] and have had enough sense to remain unwed and childless – at least for now.  That part of them that itches for children lives vicariously through me and my never-ending monster kid stories.  I’m free, non-prescription birth-control!

Source: Dump a Day

Source: Dump a Day

Happy hour for me isn’t the usual 4-6.  It’s 9:30.  Why?  Because 9:30 is bedtime!  Woohoo!

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

And a night out for me isn’t the normal dancing on in a bar.  It’s grocery shopping in Walmart in peace and quiet with no kids.

Date night for me doesn’t usually consist of a romantic dinner and a movie.  It’s delivery pizza with one kid while the other is at a friend’s house.  (Only having one kid at a time guarantees me at least an hour of respect and maybe even a hug and, therefore, qualifies as a date.)

Source: My Name's Not Mommy

Source: My Name’s Not Mommy

Excitement for me isn’t some random guy asking for my phone number.  It’s getting to pee without a kid trying to bang down the door in a desperate attempt to tattle on the other one first.

Source: Laugh Lines

Source: Laugh Lines

A new release to me isn’t the latest movie in the theaters.  Nope.  It’s the TV version of the movie that everyone (except me) saw in the theater five years ago.

Source: Tumblr

Source: Tumblr

To me, vacation isn’t going away to Disney World or some remote island destination.  For me, it’s not having to do twenty loads of laundry in a week because the kids are spending a few days at their grandparents.

Source: The Meta Picture

Source: The Meta Picture

Social networking to me isn’t meeting up with old friends for a drink.  It’s Facebook stalking all my old high school friends and perusing through hundreds of photos of them enjoying their social lives.

Source: SocialDon

Source: SocialDon

Free time for me isn’t spent in a gym working on my abs.  It’s washing my hair.  And maybe even brushing it!

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

“Mom,” to me, isn’t only what I call the woman who gave birth to me.  It’s my first name.

Source: My Tee Spot

Source: My Tee Spot

For me, makeup doesn’t consist of lipstick, eyeliner, mascara, and blush.  It consists of only the concealer used to cover up my dark under-eye circles.

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

For me, relaxing doesn’t mean spending a day at the spa getting a message.  It means blogging… Lucky you!

Moses said I should “get out” more.  Maybe he meant “blog” more while you’re stuck at home with your kids and all your friends are out having fun.  Yes.  I’m quite certain that’s what he meant.  Stupid autocorrect.

Source: someecards

Source: someecards


Tiffany Kleiman ~ Author

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