Tag Archives: Beer with Jesus

“‘When are you planning to return to earth?’ ‘Soon as I finish this coffee,’ says Jesus. ‘Pretty good, isn’t it.’” ~Garrison Keillor

Source: Funny Junk

Source: Funny Junk

So, some friends and I went to Party at the Point last Friday night.  It was the perfect afternoon: amazing weather, great bands, cold beer, and drunk fun friends.  A Friday night after a crazy long week of work can’t get any better than that, right?  Wrong!  At one point, while I was lounging on my blanket, enjoying my beer and the music, I looked up and saw this:

The Son of God was there, too!!!  I knew right then that I had to find Him so I could tell Him that I knew His buddy, Don.

I searched the beach for the tall, Mexican/Italian/Irish, barefoot dude with the Bud Light Lime, but I couldn’t seem to find Him.  Finally, I passed a man who smelled slightly like salami, and I knew!  IT WAS HIM!!!  Only he didn’t have a BLL… He had a Miller Light.  I guess he didn’t want to feel like a Nancy.  Good choice.

You can imagine my surprise when he said, “Alicia!  How’s it going?  Wanna get a burger?”  [What?!  A burger with the Son of God?!  Um, okay!  But should I get rid of my beer???]

“No, but for my Dad’s sake, quit nursing it so we can go get another.  I’m running low.”  [Uh, how in the world-]  “I am the Son of God, you know.  At least give me a little credit.”

Right.  The Son of God.  He already knows my thoughts.  Crap.  That means He also knows what I did the Friday before last.  Crap crap crap.

So anyway, we get in the food line behind what felt like a hundred drunkies.  “Oh my God.  Look at this line!  We’re never gonna get our burgers.”

“Uh, that’s Son of God.  But people get me confused with my Dad all the time.  And, shh… keep it down.  Call me Steve out here.  Listening to your crap is enough.  I’m not in the mood to deal with everyone else’s tonight, too.  But I think I can help out with this line.”

The next thing I knew, everyone in line in front of us was turned around staring at the Son’s proof his Italian heritage.  [HOLY SWEET MOTHER!  Don was right… It’s like a train wreck, and I can’t look away!]  I had to snap out of my trance, though.  This was my shot.  I walked right up to the front of the line and ordered a burger for me and one for Steve.

By the time I had them in my hand, Steve had his pants up and had us both another beer.  We went and sat on my blanket, took our shoes off, stuck our toes in the sand, and enjoyed to the band.  He asked, “So, how do you know Don?”  “Oh, well, he’s my blogger friend.  And I think I love him.”  We sat and talked about Don a little more (He told me about what really happened during that Everclear incident, by the way…), and we even danced a little.

When the band wrapped up, Steve helped me pack up my blanket and get all ready to go.  I thanked Him for the endless rounds of Miller Light, high-fived Him, and invited Him to Reggae Night at Party at the Point in a couple weeks.  He promised He’d be there.

Right before He left, He said, “Oh, wait.  I almost forgot.  Here’s the $3,010 I owe Don.  Can you make sure he gets it?”

[Sure thing, Steve.  Sure thing.“Jesus, wait!!!  You forgot your shoes!!!”

***Before I get hate mail like Arden did with her Kristen Stewart post, please know that I really do love Jesus.  But I also believe that He has a pretty darn good sense of humor.***

Tiffany Kleiman ~ Author

“I don’t care if a reader hates one of my stories, just as long as s/he finishes the book.” ~ Roald Dahl, WD

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