Tag Archives: anger

“Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write…can manage to escape the madness…which is inherent in a human situation.” ~Graham Greene


For me, blogging has become therapeutic, in a sense.  Obviously, as you all now know, I have a lot of few issues that I deal with on a pretty regular basis: anger problems, OCD, parenting troubles, anxiety, time management issues… the list goes on.  Instead of a seeing a psychologist, though, I’ve discovered that all of YOU are now my shrinks!  Who needs therapy and counseling when you have blogging?!

Source: rocketcitymom.com
Source: rocketcitymom.com

Reasons Why Blogging is Better Than Therapy:

1. Therapy consists of a relationship between you and a counselor, in which there is a mutual commitment.

* Blogging doesn’t require a commitment from anyone.

Source: Etsy

Source: Etsy

2. A therapist is used as a guide in exploring your feelings, thoughts, relationships, and behaviors.

* Blogging allows you explore your feelings and thoughts, as well.  If you doubt this, see here.  I think I did a pretty darn good job of exploring and sharing my feelings, no?

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

3. A therapist coaches you regarding learning about yourself and the way you relate to others.

* Isn’t that what our fellow bloggers do in the “Comments” section?!

Source: The Daily Uplift

Source: The Daily Uplift

4. Therapy helps you discuss many issues, such as deep anger and regrets.

* Well, obviously we bloggers discuss those things pretty openly, too.

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

5. Therapy can become pretty expensive and usually costs around $100 per hour.

* Blogging is free!!  (Suckers!)

Source: Funny Times

Source: Funny Times

6. Therapists usually have a bunch of letters after their names, and most people don’t even know what they mean.

* My blogger therapists only have .com after their names.  Much easier to understand, right?

Source: Interesting and Fun

Source: Interesting and Fun

7. People who get therapy are often labeled as “crazy.”

* People who blog are just seen as “creative.”  [wink, wink]

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

8. Therapy can be somewhat intimidating when you have someone sitting across from you just staring at you, eagerly anticipating your every word so they can then judge “diagnose” you.

* Bloggers can feel comfortable saying whatever the heck they want (obviously, in my case) without ever having to lay eyes on their “judgers.”

Source: Cafe Press

Source: Cafe Press

9. You’re stuck reading a bunch of fine print about confidentiality in therapy.

* Wait, what?!  You mean my blog isn’t private?  I would’ve guessed it was based on my stats page.  Oh well, I trust you all with my deepest, darkest secrets.  You guys usually have an equal amount of your own.  [Insert evil laugh here.]

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

10. In therapy, you need to cancel your appointments 24 hours in advance.

* If I don’t feel like blogging today, then dang it, I won’t blog today!

Source: thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com

Source: thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com

11. A lot of therapists won’t accept your medical insurance without issuing a diagnosis on your “condition.”

* My blogs are self-diagnoses that I’m crazy, and that means I don’t even need to use my insurance!!!

Source: 9LoLs.com

Source: 9LoLs.com

So, to make a long story short, I don’t need a therapist.  I have YOU people… and your therapy is free!  So thank you in advance for our many future counseling sessions.  And, most importantly, please don’t be so quick to diagnose me as crazy.  Or angry.  Or OCD.  Or bitter.  Or mean.  Or a bad mom.  You get the point–

Source: Zazzle

Source: Zazzle

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“If looks could have killed, [she] would have been bleeding profusely from the forehead.” ~Julia Quinn


Have you ever disliked someone so much that EVERYTHING they do drives you INSANE?  Well, I know you find this hard to believe, but I do dislike someone that much.  (Shocker, I know…)  And, based solely on the death glares she gets from me, I’m pretty sure it’s no secret to her.

Source: Rotten eCards

Source: Rotten eCards

It’s this particular person’s own fault that she is so disliked, I might add.  She’s one of those people who knows everything about everything.  Even that the vending machine doesn’t accept MasterCard, even though there’s a big fat sticker plastered on the front that says “We accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express, and Discover.”  Yet, she’ll sit there and argue with you about how the sticker must be wrong.  Really???

Well that’s really only the beginning of her obnoxiousness.  Let me share some more with you, as misery loves company, right??  Of course.  As don of all trades once so eloquently asked, “Who doesn’t love fat women stories?

1.  She wears capris.  She should never – EVER – wear capris.  The bottoms of her legs look like uncooked turkey legs.  And I mean those GIANT turkey legs.  Like they have at the fair every fall.  If I have to see those suckers again, I may just have no choice but to become a vegetarian.

2.  She breathes too loud.  At any given time of the day, you would swear she just ran a 5k.  She sounds like she swallowed Darth Vader.  Please… stop breathing!!!

Key words here: "hold it for twenty minutes"

Key words here: “hold it for twenty minutes”

3.  She clears her throat like there may be a small animal in there.  Well, wait.  There may be…  It’s not a polite little “ahem,” by the way.  It’s a full-blown, “Let’s see what I can cough up today” throat-clearing.  And she doesn’t do it like only once a day.  It’s every five minutes.  And it’s GROSS!

4.  She has the most annoying accent EVER.  People, I’m from New York.  (Thankfully I am now quite the Southern Belle, however, right?)  I understand that people from different places speak differently.  But this is no normal northern accent.  This is different.  This is nasal, twangy, whiny, disgustingness.  In fact, the only reason I even know she’s from the north is because she doesn’t ever shut up about “Well in New York, they do it this way – In New York, they do it that way…”  Why don’t you just shut up and go back to New York?!

Source: The Keep Calm-O-Matic

Source: The Keep Calm-O-Matic

5.  She chews like a cow.  Seriously.  Sometimes, I think she eats the bag when she’s done with the chips.  Dang, I know chips are crunchy, but she gets a little carried away.

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

6.  As I mentioned above, she knows everything about everything.  At least she thinks she does…  No, girl – South Carolina’s capital is NOT Charleston.  No, girl, President Obama is NOT a Republican.  No girl, Diet Coke will NOT make you skinny.  Why you gotta act like you know when you don’t know?  (Thanks, Ben Folds…)

Source: Meme Generator

Source: Meme Generator

Please know that this is not even close to an exhaustive list of everything this girl does that causes me to strongly dislike her.  But I’ll stop here so that you don’t think that I’m really just an angry, bitter person.  I’m not.  Really.  I’ve found the secret to true happiness and removing all anger from my life.  And I plan to live by that secret:

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

Lesson for the day – – Don’t make me hate you.  I don’t hold my tongue well.  Thanks in advance.

Source: Bad Idea T-Shirts

Source: Bad Idea T-Shirts


“I don’t have pet peeves like some people. I have whole kennels of irritation.” ~Whoopi Goldberg


Okay, so me being Ms. Perfectionist, Type A, Control Freak, and all that good stuff, I have a ton of few pet peeves and things that just SET ME OFF.  Unfortunately, I work in a professional law firm and have children at home, so when I encounter these things, I can’t really react in the manner in which I’d like:

Source: Know Your Meme

Source: Know Your Meme

Instead, I have to put on my big girl panties (not big girl like that, just FYI) and just suppress my anger, which in turn, makes me hate people.

Source: feedio.net

Source: feedio.net

You’re probably wondering what could possibly drive me to this point of crazed anger… Well let me tell you.

Whistling

Yep, that’s right.  Whistling.  I freaking HATE it when people whistle.  It’s one of those creepy sounds that just gets under my skin.  Arghhh.  STOP IT!!!

Source: Meme Generator

Source: Meme Generator

The Word ‘Moist’

Don’t ask… Just don’t say it.  Ever.  It’s gross.

Source: High School Memes

Using Speaker Phones in Cubicles

Helloooo?  You see that wall there that doesn’t go all the way to the ceiling?  That means I can hear your entire conversation, moron.  I don’t care what your doctor has to say about your rash.

Made with Meme Generator

Made with Meme Generator

Bad Grammar

‘Could of,’ ‘noone,’ ‘alot,’ ‘irregardless,’ and ‘supposably’ are NOT real words.  If you say them, I will look at you like you’re an idiot.  And no – You may not axe me anything.  However, you may ASK me anything you’d like.

Source: Meme Crazy

Source: Meme Crazy

People Who Talk During Movies

SHUT UP!!!  People pay small fortunes to see movies nowadays.  They don’t want to hear you running your fat mouth.

Source: Know Your Meme

Source: Know Your Meme

People Who Mumble

Mhdsh gmgrk opsdfs djifod.  Did you understand that?  Good!!!  Neither did I.  As Willy Wonka so eloquently put it, “You should open your mouth a little wider when you speak.”  If I’m looking at you like you’re speaking a different language, and you believe you’re speaking English, perhaps you should e-nun-ci-ate a little more.  Or just shut up… That’s always my favorite option.

Spittle

Please, for the love of God, don’t let spit gather up in the corners of your mouth when you talk.  It makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

Source: rapgenius

Source: rapgenius

Backwards Toilet Paper

People, the end of the toilet paper goes over the top!!!  There is no alternative option to this.

Source: Know Your Meme

Source: Know Your Meme

Express Lane Whores

Count your damn items.  If you have more than 20, take your lazy behind to the next lane.  If you’re one of the obnoxious ones who can’t count that high, I hope the cashier has to call (very loudly) for a price check on your Summer’s Eve.

Source: justageekgirl.com

Source: justageekgirl.com

PDAs

No one wants to see you sucking on someone else’s face.  Or grabbing a butt.  If my kid has to ask me if you’re “doing sex,” it’s too much.

Source: someecards

Source: someecards

People Who Don’t Thank Me for Holding the Door for Them

Hold on… Come back through so I can ram the door with your face.  You ungrateful witch.

Created with someecards

Made with someecards

Crinkly Wrappers

This is another one of those utterly obnoxious sounds that makes my skin crawl.  It used to take my ex-mother-in-law 10 minutes to unwrap a single stupid mint in church.  And it takes 20 minutes for one of my colleagues to unwrap whatever she may be about to shove in her mouth at any given time (every dang thing she eats comes in an “impossible for morons to open” wrapper).  That sound makes me want to stab my eardrums out myself.

Source: Quick Meme

Source: Quick Meme

Tapping

Stop tapping – your foot, your pencil, your fingernails – everything!!!  STOP.  Or I will start tapping on your face with my fist.

Source: Graphics Hunt

Source: Graphics Hunt

“Yeparooni”

Ronald says this all the freakin’ time.  Wth does that even mean?  “Ronald, did you brush your teeth?”  “Yeparooni.”  “Ronald, are you ready for your game?”  “Yeparooni.”  “Ronald, did you finish your homework?”  “Yeparooni.”  Seriously, kid.  Shut it.

Photo by Alicia Benton

Photo by Alicia Benton

Well, there’s the start of my list of things that make me want to punch someone in the throat.  Not too bad, right?  Okay, so maybe I should check to see if my medical insurance covers anger management counseling.  I’m doing a good job of holding it all in at the moment, but I don’t know how much longer I can last.  What’s your biggest pet peeve?


Tiffany Kleiman ~ Author

“I don’t care if a reader hates one of my stories, just as long as s/he finishes the book.” ~ Roald Dahl, WD

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