Say What??!

Kids say the darndest things, right?  Well, here are some of my favorite conversations with them (including the biggest one) over the years… I’ll add more as they come up.  Don’t worry – they always do.


Ronald: “Mom, didn’t Lance Armstrong die?”

Me: “Huh? No.”

Ronald: “Oh, never mind. I was thinking about Neil Armstrong.”



Gerald: “Yogurt and chicken salad… I’m eating like a white girl.”

Me: “Oh boy…”


Me: “Ronald, maybe you could be on this show.” (Rachel vs. Guy Kids Cook-Off)

Ronald: “Um, I can only make eggs…..

…..And one time I burned them.”


Ronald: “Hey Gerald, did you know Eugene got his testicles cut off so he can’t have any more kids?”

Me: “Oh my…”


Ronald: “Hey Gerald, do they teach you how to turn your swag on in middle school?”


Me: “Think of a number. Don’t tell me.”

Eugene: “Okay. Seven.”



Emma: “Ronald, you look like my lunch lady with that hairnet on.”

Ronald: “If I look like your lunch lady, then your lunch lady must be HOT!”


Me: “What do you want to watch? There’s nothing on TV.”

Gerald: “Ooh! Transformers. Megan Fox!”

Me: [Face palm.]


Gerald: “I spy something brown.”

Ronald: “Me?”


Ronald [writing sentences with spelling words for homework]: “My mom looks for me in the dark, but she won’t find me because I’m black.”


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Tiffany Kleiman ~ Author

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