Category Archives: Uncategorized

Beautiful advice from a divorced man after 16 years of marriage


This is the best marriage advice I’ve seen in a long time. Thank you for the advice, Gerald Rogers, and thank you for posting, Love Story from the Male Perspective.

love story from the male perspective

View original post

Advertisements

WARNING!!!! If you take photos with your cell phone


If you have children, you MUST check this out. Thank you to Keeping My Eye on the Sparrow Photography for sharing.


Photo Fables #35 – For Alicia Benton


The Fortunate Artist wrote this photo fable for me. If you have never visited Finn’s site, please do it now (http://fortunateartist.wordpress.com/). She has an amazing and beautiful gift that she so selflessly shares with the world. I am blown away by her ability to look at a photograph and turn it into words. She has done an incredible job, and I’m in awe of her talent. Thank you, Finn, for your gift to me!

The Fortunate Artist

Alicia Benton

Photo Credit: Alicia Benton of Imperfectly Perfect

This is what you call “the finishing touches”
This is that final chocolate shaving on the cake
The last blotting of red lipstick
The quick glance in the mirror before the big date

I smile because the camera is on me
But all I want to do is give into my shaky breath
Surrender to the singing in my heart

This is the day
It is not mine
Or yours
Not even ours
This day belongs to everyone
To all those who have come to stand with us
Laugh, sing, eat, dance, and celebrate what we have

And what we have is the kind of love that needs waterproof mascara

I know that there will be tears of every single kind
I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you
You were honest and real
You would bring me sadness, pain, anger

View original post 101 more words


The People of ‘Merica


By now, we’ve all seen the People of Walmart emails with the shameful pictures of the creatures who can be found shopping there on any given day.

Well, folks, believe me when I tell you that those same creatures aren’t just found in the local Walmart.  No sir… Those are the People of ‘Merica.  And here are some of the best of them that I saw yesterday while we were enjoying our Fourth of July.

The Dancing Couples

Couple # 1 – And yes… He is grinding on her from behind.

 

Couple # 2 – Clearly, they are friends with Couple # 1.

The Old Ladies

These old girls are cutting a rug and don’t care who’s watching!

The Pimp

Notice the cane,  hoes ladies…

The Drunk White Chicks

A few too many drinks, and we all think we can dance.

Guess what ladies… we can’t!

The Good Ole’ Redneck Boys

“Squirrel brains make you smart.” ~Miss Kay

Nice boots.

Nice boots, Cowboy.

The Catwoman

Meow, boys…

The Cat…man

The Hippie

Tie die and stretch pants with holes???  Shut up!

The Parent of the Year

Between the diaper sagging down to the ground and the plethora of mosquito bites, I’d say mom and dad are in the running for best parents.

The Chunky Monkeys

Someone go fix me a sammich.

Yep… that’s most definitely her fat roll hanging out of the bottom of her shirt.

And her drawers hanging out of the top of her pants.

And last, but not least…

For some of the People of ‘Merica, there are just no words…

No, that's not her belt...

No, that’s not her belt…

I’m damn proud to be from the good ole’ U S of A.  Aren’t you??!

Source: The Berry

Source: The Berry


Friday Pick 55


Thank you so much to TalkToDiana (http://talktodiana.wordpress.com/) for choosing my blog for her Friday Pick. In case you’re not familiar with her, you should definitely check her out. She is, by far, one of the most thoughtful bloggers I’ve met so far, and she has a huge heart and a goal to make a difference in a world in which we desperately need difference-makers. Thank you Diana – I’m humbled and honored by your pick!!

talktodiana

Alicia  at Alicia Benton  says she’s not a writer. I do not agree with this statement. I really enjoy reading her blog and right now she’s in the midst of ‘Blog every day in June’  where a daily topic or phrase is chosen for the writer to expand on. Not only can she write, she’s extremely funny! I’m really, really enjoying this June series!

In Alicia’s own words:

I’m a self-proclaimed control-freak who hates to be wrong. I love my kids more than life itself. On most days. On those “other” days, I can’t wait to get to work. I [literally] don’t know what I would do without my mom or my little sister.

This week, I’ve chosen the post below as my Friday Pick.

The 12th  ‘Blog every day in June’ prompt asked Alicia to write about her favourite colour. I just know you will…

View original post 50 more words


“All those ladies have stinky vaginas?” ~Butters


So, the boys are watching TV, and a Vagisil commercial comes on… The following conversation ensues:

Ronald: Vagisil! Look Gerald! Vagisil!

Gerald: Oh yeah! I remember when Cartman dipped with Vagisil!

Me: [face palm]

Source: South Park

Source: South Park


“I want you to think about it long and hard.” ~Michael (from The Office)


As a parent to a tween and a teen, I find myself praying quite often that they won’t pick up on the latest moronic cool terms and phrases that many other kids their age have coined as “sick” or “beast.”  Unfortunately for me, however, God finds some of my other prayer requests more urgent and answers those first.  (He’s got quite a sense of humor, in case you didn’t know.)  Anyway, sure enough, the boys have recently discovered the joy in the infamous phrase, “That’s what she said.”  Yep – that’s right.  They’re only about eight years behind the times on this one, but they love it (and think it’s hilarious) nonetheless.  Here’s a little sneak peak into my torturous, testosterone-filled house:

My sister:  Alicia, do you want the brownies with nuts or without?
Me:  With.  I don’t like the ones without nuts.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Gerald:  Mom, do you want the rest of this cornbread?
Me:  No, it’s too hard now.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Ronald:  Mom, look at this bruise I got at practice today.
Me:  Wow, it’s huge.  It must really hurt.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Gerald:  Mom, are you going to eat this candy bar?
Me:  No.  I don’t really like white chocolate.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Me:  Ronald, you had a great hit today!
Ronald:  I – –
Gerald:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Me:  That made me choke.  It went down the wrong hole.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Me:  Ronald, you need to hurry up and finish that.  It’s not that hard.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Gerald:  Mom, I don’t like these potatoes.
Me:  Well then just hurry up and swallow them.  And don’t eat anymore.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

Ronald:  Mom, come look at this spider!
Me:  Where?  I can’t see it.  It’s too small.
The Boys:  THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!  [Bahahaha!]

— Um… FAIL!!  They’ll get it eventually… —

What happened to the days when my boys were sweet and innocent?  Okay, wait…  Those may have never existed.  That may have only been in my head.  Hmm – It’s a good thing they’re cute.


“The soul is healed by being with children.” ~Fyodor Dostoyevsky


I try to usually keep my posts upbeat and sometimes even funny.  Sometimes that’s hard to do, though, when it feels like your life is falling apart.  Ever been there?  Anyway, this is no attempt to gain pity, but I’m just having one of those weeks, and I’m going through a really hard time in my life right now.  It’s times like this when I’m so thankful for Gerald and Ronald.  On the days when it’s hard to even get out of bed, when I don’t feel like I can even function, all I have to do is look at their mischievous little faces (and their dimples) and feel some sense of hope.  Hope for our future – hope for tomorrow.  When I walk in the door every afternoon, the first thing they do (before their World War 3 battle begins) is ask me how my day went.  How do you not just melt at that and forget, at least temporarily, all of the awful things you’re going through?  No one [who should be blessed with children, at least] ever wants their kids to know they’re going through a hard time, so I’m grateful that they force me to put my big girl panties on and keep moving forward.  They depend on me and rely on me to be their stability, and Lord knows, I never want to let them down.                                                                                                                          

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

Photo by Leslie Dobbe Photography

It’s funny how the ones that you’re supposed to be strong for are actually the ones who are strong for you and help you face your discouraging tomorrows.  All without even knowing it…   In fact, sometimes they’re even the only ones I can depend on for unconditional love and no judgment.  Things won’t always be this hard, right?  One look at my beautiful boys’ faces, and I think I already know the answer to that.  Thank you, God, for giving me these boys as a constant reminder that you know the plans you have for me – plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future.


“Suppose you were the last one left? Suppose you did that to yourself?” ~Cormac McCarthy


Okay, so today’s post is going to be a little different than my usual ones.  You can thank some of my coworkers for that.  So I come in to work this morning, unusually bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for a Monday morning (an early Monday morning, at that), and [obviously] the very first thing I do is go to the kitchen for coffee.  I mean, how else am I supposed to make it to lunchtime without chewing someone’s head off?  Well, I get within 50 feet of the kitchen, and I can already smell someone’s breakfast.  I’m sure right now you’re thinking, “What did you smell, Alicia?  Delicious bacon, maybe?  Or some warm oatmeal?”  Well, I’m glad you asked.  Nope, it wasn’t bacon or oatmeal… IT WAS FISH!!!  Yep, that’s right.  You heard me correctly.  FISH.  Now, it’s your prerogative if you want to eat disgusting, microwaved, salmon for breakfast in your own home, but WHY on God’s green earth would you subject me to smelling that at 8:00 on a Monday morning?  WHY, I ask?  WHY???  Fishy smells aren’t really that pleasant any time of day; however, rest assured – They’re even more disgusting first thing in the morning.  Take my word for it, if you’ve never experienced it.  The entire kitchen oozed raunchy, foul fish.  How can that even be appetizing to someone?  Clearly, whoever heated up their fish must be suffering from a [very] stuffy nose this morning.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t.  What’s worse is that yesterday, while recovering from the weekend and trying to prepare the boys for school today, I cleaned out my car, and Gerald had forgotten to take his lunch box out of it.  I brought it inside and emptied out its contents so he could make his lunch for today.  Guess what I found in there?  Nope, not just Fruit Roll-Up wrappers and sticky pudding spoons… I found one of my Tupperware bowls in there.  Well, what’s the big deal with that, you’re wondering, right?  Well, the big deal is that there was still macaroni and cheese in said bowl.  And it was 80 degrees here all weekend, making it more like 100 degrees in my car.  My first mistake was trying to save my bowl.  I knew when I made that decision that I was making the wrong one.  I should have just tossed the whole thing.  But… I love Tupperware, and I didn’t want to part with my favorite bowl with the cool vented lid.  Oh.  Em.  Gee.  BIG MISTAKE, PEOPLE.  Big mistake.  It reeked of sour, rotten milk.  And Gerald, of all people, had the nerve to gag!  Any of you who know me that I have a very sensitive gag reflex (sorry, TMI).  The mere sound of him gagging, coupled with the curdled milk smell, was enough to make me have to hold in the very mess that was forming in my throat.  Needless to say, I had finally recovered from that this morning when I walk in to fish hell.  I don’t know what I did to tick someone off, but someone must be trying to get sweet revenge.  Hmphh…


“I hate you. You’re crazy. One minute you’re cool, the next minute you’re throwing pointy objects at my head…” ~L.M.N.


Ah, young love…  Do you remember those days?  I remember the days when boys were gross, and I used to chase them around the playground.

Photo by Alicia Benton

Photo by Alicia Benton

My mom used to tell me that meant I had a crush on one of those boys.  What?!  No way!  She was nuts!  Of course, as I grew up, I realized that she was exactly right.  I mean, how else are you supposed to show a boy that you like him, besides chasing him around and pushing him down when you finally catch him???  Well, I’ll tell you what – It’s quite an eye-opening experience when you finally get to see your kid reach those days.  There’s a girl in Ronald’s class, who also happens to live in our neighborhood, who thinks “Ronald is gross.”  [Read:  “Ronald is cute.”]  How do I know this, you ask?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  For one, every day when Ronald gets home from school, he updates me on the latest number of times that Kayla pulled his hair in class and on the bus.  (Remember, he’s got the mean ‘fro going on…)  Then, he tells me all about how while he was riding his bike, she chased him around the neighborhood throwing pine cones at him.  Today, my sister and I watched first hand as she showered him with pink flower petals as he rode by.  Then she proceeded to pick up handfuls of pine straw and attempt to cover him in it.  She never misses a chance to tell me about all the “gross” things Ronald does.  He keeps telling me how annoying she is, and when I tell him that it’s just her way of showing him that she likes him, he responds with, “Eww, Mom.  That’s gross.  Plus, she’s mean to me.  There’s no way she likes me.”  Ha!  Little does he know that she goes home after school and doodles her first name right alongside his last name.  She’s already picked out her wedding dress for that glorious day ten years from now that she gets to marry MY son!  [Over my dead body, by the way…]  It’s so funny to me now to see that the way we females show boys that we like them is by doing the meanest things we can think of to them.  What… you want me to be NICE to the boy I like?  Yeah right!  Hmm… I guess some things will never change, huh?  😉


Tiffany Kleiman ~ Author

“I don’t care if a reader hates one of my stories, just as long as s/he finishes the book.” ~ Roald Dahl, WD

Jeanne Grier

A Modern Day Mom

The Meat & Potatoes of Life

By Lisa Smith Molinari

JAG GYM Blog

We do good things for kids!

RECLAIMING YOUR CASTLE

...LOVING THE PLACE YOU COME HOME TO.

Ooops, I Said Vagina... Again..

Being a mother, wife, and all around good person... MOST of the time.

Writing Between the Lines

Life From a Writer's POV

Life With The Top Down

Enjoy The Ride!

HA's Place

the lived experiences and musings of an organic, home-grown poet

Phoenix Fights

Fighting the FEAR, depression and BDP on a daily basis AND making my own bread. Bring it on 2016....

nobodysreadingme

Writers write. The rest make excuses.

the EXCESSIVE GARDENER

adventures in defensive gardening

Suddenly they all died. The end.

Write or write not - there is no aspiring.

Post it Notes from my Idiot Boss

delivered directly to my computer monitor on an all too regular basis...

Piglove

Adventures of Bacon and Friends

Laura A. Lord

"Of this I am certain: The moment you said, "You are..." I no longer recognized myself. ‪‎I am‬ more than the woman you see. "

Corner of Confessions

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Around the Hill

Photos, and maybe a geeky blog post or two!

%d bloggers like this: