As promised, today’s post will be much more lighthearted than yesterday’s. But true, all the same…
Last night, I found myself in a position to teach Gerald (the teenager) a very valuable life lesson.
Here’s how it went down:
Gerald: “Mom, Megan and Chase broke up again, and they are so mad at each other.”
Me: “Really – what happened this time?”
Gerald: “They’re just talking about each other to everyone else. They both talk trash about the other one to all our friends.”
Me: “What do you say since you’re friends with both of them? Or do you just listen and not really say anything?”
Gerald: “I say, ‘I know, right.’” [Hee hee]
Me: “Gerald! You can’t do that! That’s throwing fuel on the fire!”
Gerald: “I know, but it is kind of funny!”
Me: “It’s mean. You should tell them both to just get back together or get over each other and move on. They’re both gonna’ get their feelings hurt if they keep spreading rumors about each other.”
Gerald: “I know, but I’m kind of on her side.”
Me: “No, no, no…!!! I’m about to teach you a very valuable life lesson that you need to remember until the day you get married.”
Gerald: [listening intently] “Okay, what is it?”
***Drum roll, please…***
Me: “Bros before hoes, man. Bros before hoes.”
Gerald: [amazing look of wonderment on his face] “Hmm, okay. Thanks, Mom.”
And that, folks, makes me….
Source: Imgur
That’s right – – I’m officially the WORLD’S OKAYEST MOM!!!
Source: Meme Center
Imperfectly Perfect 
May 24th, 2013 at 11:51 am
Your son is a teenager, he’s probably just trying to be nice to her so he can get him some. But yes, it’s otherwise fine advice!
May 24th, 2013 at 11:57 am
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
You’re wrong! You BETTER be wrong!!!
May 24th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
I was 14 my first time, but I’m sure your son is different.
May 24th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
May 24th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
I am the killer whale of Word Press!
May 24th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
You most certainly are, dammit. Dick.
May 24th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
I hope you have a pleasant Friday and a wonderful holiday weekend!
May 24th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
Haha – you too. I’ll be spending my weekend stalking my kid’s every move. Thanks for that.
May 24th, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Keep him away from 16 year old white girls with 65 Mustangs and amusement parks. It’s actually a pretty funny tale that begs to be told, but my wife would probably not be interested in reading about it.
May 24th, 2013 at 4:55 pm
Hahahaha! Man, what I would give to hear it!! I’ll definitely be following your advice!
And it makes me laugh because I drive a Mustang, and the boys love it. Lol.
May 24th, 2013 at 4:59 pm
Ooh, I know…. Tell the story ok your blog, but just make it sound like fiction. Like you did with the Son if God story… real but made it sound like fiction. Your wife will never know. Haha.
May 24th, 2013 at 12:19 pm
You are at least in the top 90 percent of moms. Minimum.
May 24th, 2013 at 1:56 pm
Haha – why can I sense your sarcasm from here?!
May 24th, 2013 at 2:07 pm
Because you have a sarcasm detector unlike most people. Unlike most people. That makes you in the top 90% of smart people.
May 24th, 2013 at 2:14 pm
Okay, well that part’s true…
May 24th, 2013 at 2:40 pm
I’m in the top 90% of people that tell the truth sometimes.
May 24th, 2013 at 2:41 pm
Sometimes??
May 24th, 2013 at 3:49 pm
90% of the time. Kind like how many days of the week you show up at your job.
May 24th, 2013 at 4:01 pm
Low blow!
I hardly ever take off. I just happened to have a million things to do this week.
May 24th, 2013 at 1:57 pm
Hah! This. Is. Amazing.
May 24th, 2013 at 3:55 pm
I wish someone would’ve taught me that lesson at a young age. I was that guy who ran around and agreed with all the chicks just so I could get me some… Wow, that sounds horrible in hindsight.
May 24th, 2013 at 3:56 pm
Another good warning would be to tell him that the route he’s going only leads to one place in the future… and it’s the one place a man never wants to be… The Friendzone.
May 24th, 2013 at 4:04 pm
Bahahahahaha!!! Hilarious!
May 24th, 2013 at 4:05 pm
That precisely exactly where I always want him to be! Lol!
May 24th, 2013 at 4:13 pm
Noooo! He’ll end up a 30 year old, half bald, virgin who doesn’t know how to deal with women!!!! (Trust me… I know a guy!)
May 24th, 2013 at 4:17 pm
Haha! You are cracking me up!!!
May 24th, 2013 at 4:03 pm
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
See Don’s comments. I think I need to disable comments on all teenager posts I make!!! Lol!
May 24th, 2013 at 4:14 pm
We’ll just ping back with our thoughts 😉
May 24th, 2013 at 10:36 pm
I almost didnt read this b/c I am on mouth and tongue restrictions, but I am weak. The last picture just added the necessary layer of hilarity for a KO! Or maybe its so funny b/c I am strung out on opoids right now….No, it’s just funny.
I SO relate to this story, sigh….and thanks, I think I just popped a stitch on my tongue from trying not to laugh.
May 28th, 2013 at 7:51 am
You poor thing!! You have ME laughing now!!! And I sure hope you’re okay – Stitches on your tongue doesn’t sound fun!
May 27th, 2013 at 2:47 pm
Where did you come up with the name for this blog. I get the wordpress part, but the rest? So clever.
May 28th, 2013 at 7:52 am
I brainstormed for days…
May 28th, 2013 at 10:35 am
That must have been a mindnumbing process.