
Source: Funny Junk
So, some friends and I went to Party at the Point last Friday night. It was the perfect afternoon: amazing weather, great bands, cold beer, and drunk fun friends. A Friday night after a crazy long week of work can’t get any better than that, right? Wrong! At one point, while I was lounging on my blanket, enjoying my beer and the music, I looked up and saw this:
The Son of God was there, too!!! I knew right then that I had to find Him so I could tell Him that I knew His buddy, Don.
I searched the beach for the tall, Mexican/Italian/Irish, barefoot dude with the Bud Light Lime, but I couldn’t seem to find Him. Finally, I passed a man who smelled slightly like salami, and I knew! IT WAS HIM!!! Only he didn’t have a BLL… He had a Miller Light. I guess he didn’t want to feel like a Nancy. Good choice.
You can imagine my surprise when he said, “Alicia! How’s it going? Wanna get a burger?” [What?! A burger with the Son of God?! Um, okay! But should I get rid of my beer???]
“No, but for my Dad’s sake, quit nursing it so we can go get another. I’m running low.” [Uh, how in the world-] “I am the Son of God, you know. At least give me a little credit.”
Right. The Son of God. He already knows my thoughts. Crap. That means He also knows what I did the Friday before last. Crap crap crap.
So anyway, we get in the food line behind what felt like a hundred drunkies. “Oh my God. Look at this line! We’re never gonna get our burgers.”
“Uh, that’s Son of God. But people get me confused with my Dad all the time. And, shh… keep it down. Call me Steve out here. Listening to your crap is enough. I’m not in the mood to deal with everyone else’s tonight, too. But I think I can help out with this line.”
The next thing I knew, everyone in line in front of us was turned around staring at the Son’s proof his Italian heritage. [HOLY SWEET MOTHER! Don was right… It’s like a train wreck, and I can’t look away!] I had to snap out of my trance, though. This was my shot. I walked right up to the front of the line and ordered a burger for me and one for Steve.
By the time I had them in my hand, Steve had his pants up and had us both another beer. We went and sat on my blanket, took our shoes off, stuck our toes in the sand, and enjoyed to the band. He asked, “So, how do you know Don?” “Oh, well, he’s my blogger friend. And I think I love him.” We sat and talked about Don a little more (He told me about what really happened during that Everclear incident, by the way…), and we even danced a little.
When the band wrapped up, Steve helped me pack up my blanket and get all ready to go. I thanked Him for the endless rounds of Miller Light, high-fived Him, and invited Him to Reggae Night at Party at the Point in a couple weeks. He promised He’d be there.
Right before He left, He said, “Oh, wait. I almost forgot. Here’s the $3,010 I owe Don. Can you make sure he gets it?”
[Sure thing, Steve. Sure thing.] “Jesus, wait!!! You forgot your shoes!!!”
***Before I get hate mail like Arden did with her Kristen Stewart post, please know that I really do love Jesus. But I also believe that He has a pretty darn good sense of humor.***
May 21st, 2013 at 9:26 am
Hah! You’re so not giving that money back to Don, right?
May 21st, 2013 at 9:27 am
Hey, don’t encourage her to be a scoundrel like you! Are you going to mail it or what?
May 21st, 2013 at 9:47 am
Yep. The proverbial check is in the mail. (Thanks for the new shoes and this month’s rent payment, btw…)
May 21st, 2013 at 9:45 am
What money?? 😉
May 21st, 2013 at 9:26 am
Isn’t he just a shitton of fun to hang out with?
I can’t believe he’d drink Miller products though, I forbade him to do so because Miller is nasty. It’s the devil’s brew! His pal at the Jacksonville brewery is going to be pissed off too!
All this beach fun is making me so angry at myself for not living near beach. I hate being angry at myself on Tuesdays.
May 21st, 2013 at 9:46 am
He definitely is. Miller was the best choice, considering the alternative was BLL.
Yes, the beach is a beautiful place to live. You’ll have to come visit. Preferably on a Tuesday.
May 21st, 2013 at 2:36 pm
Here is some hate mail for you. I hate the mail. If it could just be on time once, ever it would be great. And why are they always losing my million dollar checks all the time? I think they owe me.
May 22nd, 2013 at 7:52 am
Yeah – I agree. I think the mailman steals them.
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:38 am
I think your mailman steals mine.
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:39 am
Then I wish he’d deliver them to me, dammit.
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:39 am
Your mailman isn’t very good is he(or she)?
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:42 am
No. All he ever brings me is bills.
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:49 am
I’ll have him send you mine too.
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:50 am
I’ll just stick them in the junk drawer like I do with mine.
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:54 am
Mine go in the shredder along with all the bill collectors that stop by. Whoops I wasn’t supposed to say that.
May 22nd, 2013 at 10:08 am
Awesome!! I knew I was doing something wrong just slamming the door in their faces. Time to buy me a shredder!
May 22nd, 2013 at 10:20 am
If anyone ever asks you how you learned, tell them it wasn’t me. And if someone ever needs to know how to dispose of the bill collectors, just leave them in the streets. Cops will look the other way and even crows won’t stoop that low.
May 22nd, 2013 at 10:23 am
I promise I will never say, “Bitter Ben told me.” Never.
May 22nd, 2013 at 10:26 am
I’ve been aspiring to be the next inspiration for one of the 1000’s of cop/crime shows on TV. I’m hoping that they will eventually run out of ideas and be forced to use my story.
May 22nd, 2013 at 10:35 am
You do know that they always get caught in the end, right?? Maybe you should specify “Unsolved Murders” or something like that…
May 21st, 2013 at 2:40 pm
By the way, for someone that does phototography for a hobby you sure don’t use a lot of pictures.
May 22nd, 2013 at 7:45 am
They’re not relevant to my posts!
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:37 am
Anything can be relevant to your posts. It’s just how you spins them.
May 21st, 2013 at 2:57 pm
Your post didn’t show up in my reader. Probably you don’t tag like a boss like I do.
May 22nd, 2013 at 7:45 am
I thought I had few enough. Dang it. I don’t get this whole tagging thing.
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:37 am
I didn’t use any for the first 6 months or so, which I why I didn’t have any followers/views/likes (that and terrible reading material). Good luck on your tag nightmare.
May 22nd, 2013 at 11:17 am
I’m not sure about how they work either, but if it helps, your post popped up on my reader about an hour and a half ago. So confusing!
May 24th, 2013 at 10:49 am
http://learn.wordpress.com/get-connected/#usetags
A little more info on how tags work that I came across this morning. 15 tags or more and your post doesn’t come up on reader topics.
May 24th, 2013 at 10:51 am
Yay! Thank you so much! Trust me… I can use all the help I can get! 🙂
May 24th, 2013 at 10:54 am
I totally know the feeling! Right now, I’m lost in all the tips and tricks provided on dailypost.wordpress.com, there’s a sea of knowledge that I never knew existed. Some really great stuff!
May 22nd, 2013 at 10:53 am
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