Yeah, sure, we love homemade cards and macaroni necklaces, but I have enough dang noodles to make mac and cheese for dinner for a year. And my stupid conscience won’t let me throw out the 67 construction paper cards I’ve collected over the years. You know… the ones with the scribble scrabble you can’t even decipher? So dads, grandparents, aunts – help a kid out. And a mom.
What Moms Really Want for Mother’s Day:
1. A massage.
2. A nap.
3. A clean bathroom.
5. A truce.
7. To see an amazing movie that’s not made by Disney or all about shootin-‘em-up.
8. A drink. (Or seven.)
9. An orgasm. (Hey, they cure headaches, right??) *This gift can only come from limited recipients, obviously.*
10. A day off. From life.
Okay, so there you have it. Now go get the wife, mom, sister, etc. something she really wants for Mother’s Day!
And Happy Mother’s Day to all of you amazing moms – You have the hardest job in the world!