Ten secrets my kids don’t know about me:
1. I am absolutely TERRIFIED of the world in which they’re growing up. Murders, drugs, gangs, bullying, lack of respect, Liberals…
2. I wonder every day if I’m failing as a mom. Do all moms wonder if they’re doing a good job or ruining their kids for life?
3. I’m broke. No, seriously…
4. I’m worried about whether I’ll ever be that mother-in-law. You know – the monster who hates any female who tries to steal her son from her.
5. It breaks my heart every morning that I drop them off at school and don’t get to walk them to their classes anymore. Psycho. I know, I know.
6. They’re my heroes. [See why here.]
7. I really don’t have eyes in the back of my head. They still wonder, to this day, how it is that I know every time they’re doing something they shouldn’t be. (I’m just awesome like that, I guess.)
8. I’m not really counting down the days until they move out. In fact, in reality, I’m dreading it. What will my purpose in life be when I’m no longer needed as a 24-hour-a-day referee?
9. I don’t really sit around all day and think about how to make their lives miserable. I don’t know if they’d believe this one since I’m often known as “The Meanest Mom in the World.”
10. I love Bruno Mars. If they knew that, then they would decide that they hated him, and we wouldn’t get to listen to him in the car anymore.
Someday (hopefully no time within the next 40 15 years) they’ll have little munchkins of their own, and then I’ll finally sit down and share my secrets with them. By then, they’ll have their own secrets to keep from nosey little ears (and not just from me). How terrifying refreshing will that day be?!