I try to usually keep my posts upbeat and sometimes even funny. Sometimes that’s hard to do, though, when it feels like your life is falling apart. Ever been there? Anyway, this is no attempt to gain pity, but I’m just having one of those weeks, and I’m going through a really hard time in my life right now. It’s times like this when I’m so thankful for Gerald and Ronald. On the days when it’s hard to even get out of bed, when I don’t feel like I can even function, all I have to do is look at their mischievous little faces (and their dimples) and feel some sense of hope. Hope for our future – hope for tomorrow. When I walk in the door every afternoon, the first thing they do (before their World War 3 battle begins) is ask me how my day went. How do you not just melt at that and forget, at least temporarily, all of the awful things you’re going through? No one [who should be blessed with children, at least] ever wants their kids to know they’re going through a hard time, so I’m grateful that they force me to put my big girl panties on and keep moving forward. They depend on me and rely on me to be their stability, and Lord knows, I never want to let them down.
It’s funny how the ones that you’re supposed to be strong for are actually the ones who are strong for you and help you face your discouraging tomorrows. All without even knowing it… In fact, sometimes they’re even the only ones I can depend on for unconditional love and no judgment. Things won’t always be this hard, right? One look at my beautiful boys’ faces, and I think I already know the answer to that. Thank you, God, for giving me these boys as a constant reminder that you know the plans you have for me – plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future.