“Suppose you were the last one left? Suppose you did that to yourself?” ~Cormac McCarthy


Okay, so today’s post is going to be a little different than my usual ones.  You can thank some of my coworkers for that.  So I come in to work this morning, unusually bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for a Monday morning (an early Monday morning, at that), and [obviously] the very first thing I do is go to the kitchen for coffee.  I mean, how else am I supposed to make it to lunchtime without chewing someone’s head off?  Well, I get within 50 feet of the kitchen, and I can already smell someone’s breakfast.  I’m sure right now you’re thinking, “What did you smell, Alicia?  Delicious bacon, maybe?  Or some warm oatmeal?”  Well, I’m glad you asked.  Nope, it wasn’t bacon or oatmeal… IT WAS FISH!!!  Yep, that’s right.  You heard me correctly.  FISH.  Now, it’s your prerogative if you want to eat disgusting, microwaved, salmon for breakfast in your own home, but WHY on God’s green earth would you subject me to smelling that at 8:00 on a Monday morning?  WHY, I ask?  WHY???  Fishy smells aren’t really that pleasant any time of day; however, rest assured – They’re even more disgusting first thing in the morning.  Take my word for it, if you’ve never experienced it.  The entire kitchen oozed raunchy, foul fish.  How can that even be appetizing to someone?  Clearly, whoever heated up their fish must be suffering from a [very] stuffy nose this morning.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t.  What’s worse is that yesterday, while recovering from the weekend and trying to prepare the boys for school today, I cleaned out my car, and Gerald had forgotten to take his lunch box out of it.  I brought it inside and emptied out its contents so he could make his lunch for today.  Guess what I found in there?  Nope, not just Fruit Roll-Up wrappers and sticky pudding spoons… I found one of my Tupperware bowls in there.  Well, what’s the big deal with that, you’re wondering, right?  Well, the big deal is that there was still macaroni and cheese in said bowl.  And it was 80 degrees here all weekend, making it more like 100 degrees in my car.  My first mistake was trying to save my bowl.  I knew when I made that decision that I was making the wrong one.  I should have just tossed the whole thing.  But… I love Tupperware, and I didn’t want to part with my favorite bowl with the cool vented lid.  Oh.  Em.  Gee.  BIG MISTAKE, PEOPLE.  Big mistake.  It reeked of sour, rotten milk.  And Gerald, of all people, had the nerve to gag!  Any of you who know me that I have a very sensitive gag reflex (sorry, TMI).  The mere sound of him gagging, coupled with the curdled milk smell, was enough to make me have to hold in the very mess that was forming in my throat.  Needless to say, I had finally recovered from that this morning when I walk in to fish hell.  I don’t know what I did to tick someone off, but someone must be trying to get sweet revenge.  Hmphh…

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